PUNS

DO NOT LET GO

There have been times in me life that I did not want to face another day, let alone seize it.  That was then and this is now...

The first time I tried to kill meself I was a little boy, the last time was a man of 40 plus.

Truth be told, I am right glad that I did not get it right.  Just think of all I would have missed.  True, there have ups and downs, and life has not always gone as I would have wanted it to.  I have lost folks dear to me and I have had some dark moments when the tears out numbered the laughs.  I am sure that be true of many.

I am a work in progress.  Of late things have been pretty grand.  Am more at peace with meself than I have ever been.  I like me.  More important, I know that there are folks who think I am pretty special and like me as well.  That is a good thing.

Rather think John would be proud of the man I have become.  John would be right pleased that I have gone on living.

FAT MAN DIES AT 48

He had to be taken to the hospital with a crane by emergency and civil defense workers.

 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2639872/Mexican-man-certified-worlds-heaviest-dies-48-years-old-867-pounds-years-confined-bed.html#ixzz32uovk0tV
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RIGHT DAFT IF YOU ASK ME

This is said to be the world's most expensive Starbucks coffee featuring 60 espresso shots and costing $55 (£33). 

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2641608/Is-worlds-expensive-Starbucks-coffee-Sexagintuple-Vanilla-Bean-Mocha-Frappuccino-set-55.html#ixzz3323EdO00
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If you ask me, and I know you did not, it is just plain daft.  The Evil Empire will do anything to get folks to fork over buckets of cash for a coffee drink.

Really, who needs that big of a jolt???

MORE FART HUMOUR

DAFT I AM

BODY IN MOTION TENDS TO STAY IN MOTION

The first study of its kind shows daily walking for about a quarter of a mile may mean the difference between staying mobile or becoming housebound.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2641116/20-minute-walk-beats-disability-Quarter-mile-daily-stroll-make-difference-mobility-housebound.html#ixzz32zVoUQB4
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YOU ARE GOING TO NEED A BIGGER CAT

This rat was caught in the kitchen of a flat in Sweden.  Seems the poor pussy that lived in the flat was terrified to go into the kitchen.  Do you blame it?

Truth be told, report have come in from Sweden and UK about the new breed of rats.  Massive they are.

I remember seeing rats running on the power lines in Puerto Rico and have even seem massive rats in Honolulu.  But never knew anyone to have caught one in the kitchen.

Me good friend Ron has 7 pussies and doubt there is one of them that could fight this monster.

Rather think I am going to bang a pot the next time I visit the kitchen....

WHILST I AM ON THE SUBJECT

Truth be told, what I write about here is not going to set the world on fire.

I rather fancy that I can tell a good tale.  Been told that some of me stories have made folks laugh and from time to time shed a tear or two.

My life is of no importance other than to me.  I share the ups and downs.  I like to think that I do tell it in a comfy style.

MEMORIAL DAY 2014

NIGHT WRITING

Truth be told, I rather think I do me best writing in the wee hours of the morning.  To most, writing me thoughts at 3 in the morning is the middle of the night.

Right odd how that works.  I jump out of bed and turn on my brilliant machine and start to give words to the thoughts that have come to me during the sleep period.

Having done this for some time, I am of the opinion, and it may well be my opinion only, that the writing is best in the wee hours.  I do not always hit a home run, but the hits are more than the misses.

Why do I write?

I vent.  I share what is bothering me.  I share my hopes and dreams.  I like being a bit silly.

There was a time I used to scribble away in a diary.  It was a lovely lady, Dottie, who convinced me to start a blog and share with the whole world.  After 9 years, it is a habit.  A habit I rather enjoy.

DIET COKE

REMEMBER THE PHONE BOOTH????

All you needed was some change.  Life was simple.  Long Distance was special and kept to a short chat.

When did we become so important that we had to carry round a telephone 24/7?

RELAXING MASSAGE

Nothing could be more relaxing than a deep muscle massage. But what if that massage was being dished out by four deadly giant Burmese pythons?

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2634971/Is-sssss-spa-treatment-Zoo-offers-massage-four-giant-pythons-feeds-10-chickens-case-theyre-hungry.html#ixzz32NTme4w1
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DIET AND EXERCISE

‘If I had known I looked that big before I may have done something sooner.’

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2633675/Man-loses-19-stone-called-Jabba-Hutt-wife.html#ixzz32GE6LEnv
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FANCY THAT

A KEEPER

CHOICES

FIXING TEETH MUST PAY WELL

A car-obsessed dentist who has amassed Britain’s biggest private car collection is selling the whole lot for £100million.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2630564/Vroom-view-Dentist-cars-keeps-enormous-warehouses-selling-450-classic-vehicles-100-MILLION.html#ixzz31uoR15sF
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I KNOW THAT WOMAN

Patty thought she would kill time in front of the fruit machines whilst she had a ciggie and let her hair set...

HOLE IN HEAD

My secret is out.  What some have thought of the old geezer is now confirmed.  Blame all of me weird actions on the hole in me head.  I was wondering why me brain felt a draft....

BE DIFFERENT

WICKED I AM

HOW TRUE

When did the 'mobile' replace 'face' time?  It seems that the little device has replaced the need to connect to other in a real way.  More's the pity that.

THEY CALL IT SHARING.  I wonder.

Call me stupid but I still like to go out to dinner and 'talk' to the person I am dining with.  Just that person and not others not sitting next to at the table.  Call me stupid but I still like to look at the sights and soak in the moment.  Not worry about 'sharing' what it is that I am doing at that moment with someone who is not there.

Right.  I do not hear and the 'mobile' is more of a bother than a help.  Truth be told, long before I had hearing loss, I refused to buy into the need to be connected 24/7.

Mind, I still write letters and send 'thank you' cards.  I must be really weird....

DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE GAY FOOTBALL PLAYER

I must be thick as a brick.  I simply do not get all of the 'news' about Michael Sam being the first 'openly' homosexual football player with the NFL.

Do you really think that it matters.  I mean there have been other homosexual football player, and there are no doubt current players who might be homosexual as well.

I rather think that Michael Sam has an agenda.  "I am homosexual", in your face and you are going to like it.

Michael Sam and his boyfriend staged a very public celebration of his getting picked.  Much drama in the cake in face and smacking of lips on television.  Sort of served notice to all of the other NFL players that the media circus of his being 'openly' homosexual player is going to cast its harsh spotlight on everyone round him.

I am reminded of Noel Coward.  Noel was once asked why he did not come out as homosexual.  Noel being ever so clever replied that there might be a few old ladies somewhere in England who did not know and he did not want to ruin it for them.  Everyone who was anyone knew that Noel was homosexual, there just did not seem to be a burning need go get up on a stage and shout it out.

Noel Coward was a brilliant fellow.  He did so many things better than most.

One hopes that Michael Sam is a brilliant football player.  Being that will ensure that other players treat him like everyone else.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATTY

Patty is a dear friend.  The sort of 'friend' that you just knew was going to brilliant to know from day one.

Patty will be 85 today and she has more life in her than many known to this old geezer.

What can I say?  I seem to meet brilliant people all of the time.

Patty has been round the block a few times.  Worked for many years at a restaurant, as a waitress.  Is the mum to 6 children and has great, great grand children.  Patty is no ordinary granny, the children call her "GG".

I meet up with Patty three days a week.  We have coffee and talk story.  It is lovely to be with someone who faces each day with a positive attitude.  Did I mention that Patty has quite the laugh?  I rather think that we make each other smile.

This year, Patty's birthday falls on MUM Day.  How perfect.  I will just have to make her me honourary MUM...

DID NOT KNOW THAT RON PASSED ON

Truth be told, the snap is of a lady who died in New Orleans.  It was her wish that she be 'viewed' sitting up in her garden, with a drink in one hand and a ciggie in the other.  The "bitch" was a favoured piece of jewelry and she loved being thought of as such.

Which brings me to "Ron"...

Being every so colourful, Ron more than like would like a send off just like the lady from New Orleans.  I can just see it now.  The carpark will have massive amount of Christmas Trees, there will be thousands of twinkling lights  and there will be "We Need A Little Christmas Now" playing loudly.

Ron will be propped up in a chair in the corner.  He will have a very loud outfit on, to match his multi-coloured shoes.  There will have to be cats.  Lots of cats.

RAINBOWS WORK MAGIC

It may not always work out that I hit the mark with me posts.  Matters not, I try to face each and every day with a positive attitude.  Tragic only plays well in the theatre and who needs to start the day on a downer?

I must fess up to the fact that it makes me day to get mail from folks telling that I brought a smile to face in the morning.  With some it is a real belly laugh and with others it is a forced giggle...

If there is one thing learned in life, it is that clouds can be chased away.

SMILES SHOULD BE SHARED

GIVING WORDS TO THOUGHT

Tell true.  Do you ever wonder if what you say to folks is remembered?  I do.

Truth be told, am gobsmacked when it is.  Not the little silly stuff, but the really important things that are said to folks cared about.  The things that you tell that define who you are as a person.

I guess I have been lucky or am better at picking me friends than thought.  Came to give a think on this at breakfast the other day.  Two lovely people I like very much took me out for a cook up.  During the meal they told of how they remembered things told to them when first met and how it had helped them hang on until things improved.

Not only did the meal leave me in a good mood, the company made me feel good all day long.  Felt as if I had picked two new friends well.  It was a two way conversation, we all three heard what the other had to say.  Took the time to listen and remember the important stuff.

Mind, I seem to have a way with folks.......  You laugh.  True, there be some that do not take to the old geezer but I do make an impression...

WHAT A LOT OF TOSH

'I'm Britain's vainest man and I'm proud of it,' says Dunford. 'Some people think I'm arrogant and I've had men start fights with me on nights out - but they're just jealous. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2620687/Meet-personal-trainer-spends-10-000-year-looks-claims-hes-handsome-Brad-Pitt.html#ixzz30w9vLB9J
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CATS ARE EVIL

This snap says it all.  The lovely pussy in your home is really a hold-up artist...

CINCO DE MAYO

Personally, I rather remember the 5th of November...

I TRY

PAY IT FORWARD

CHANGE IS A GOOD THING

There have been many who call the old geezer a 'vagabond'.  Must have something to do with me trainers having so many miles on them.

I am in the process of making a change.  AGAIN....

Change is a good thing.  Keeps things fresh.  Have no doubt that new adventures await.

I take with me all of the things that matter most.  Memories and friends.

I will have to fill in me avid readers when the dust has settled...

MAY DAY IS LEI DAY

Will long remember running a Lei Stand with a good mate.  What is not to like about making folks feel happy?