TIME FLIES

The handsome man in the snap above is the old geezer when he was 39 years old.  That be the chap with brown hair, the other was my companion, who has been dead these past 27 years.

I have been very fortunate in life.  I have known real love and I have enjoyed many wondrous adventures.  I have no reason to believe that the adventures are still coming my way.

I look very happy in the snap.  Truth be told I am quite happy now.  Life is working out well.  I have no real complaints.

I have taken on some challenges of late.  Challenges that will keep me active and might make some positive changes in the lives of people around me.

My relationship with Hawaii has always been a good one.  However oft I left, I have always returned.  This is where John's ashes are and there is no other place that has such ALOHA.  My fortunes have gone up and down but I have always wanted to end my days in Hawaii.  Recent changes have made it likely that I will.  I am pleased about that.

I have never had large number of friends.  I consider myself lucky that I have friends of long standing that love me just the way I am.

There are some who want to get over on me.  That is not going to happen.  I am content with my circle of friends and have no desire to be the most popular person in Waikiki.

Today is Prince Kuhio Day, a holiday in Hawaii.  Seems altogether fitting that the big parade is scheduled for Saturday.  How lovely that they will be having a parade on my birthday...

WHAT CHRISTMAS MEANS TO ME

"I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. " ~Charles Dickens

For my part, I always want to remember the great moments of Christmas, that the moments that mean the most in coming years will always be ones filled with hope and gladness. In years to come, I want to mark Christmas 2014, as the year I truly gained a new respect for the true meaning of Christmas and hold that close to my heart all of the days of the coming year.

"Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home! " ~Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, 1836

Received an email yesterday that make me think of more to say on the subject of Christmas and how one must get into the mood.:
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-
depressant.2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to
__________ today.'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured IN
plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli ,
almonds & walnuts.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.7. Don't waste your precious energy on energy vampires, issues of the past, negative
thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive
present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed
out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good!
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything.20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
Stay in touch!!!
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following
statements: I am thankful for __________.
Today I accomplished _________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. Please send this to everyone you care about

Mind, the lovely lady who sent on this, is in the business of getting into your head and finding out what is wrong..........sounds to me as if she does it rather well, and the advice forwarded can apply all the year round.

"It is my hope that our paths will cross again soon. Till then it is my hope that your days with filled with peace, truth, and love, that you may continue your wonderful service to our community, the world we live in!!"

My dears, we shall meet again, the lovely lady and I..........need all of the help given to bring me back down to earth.

'Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish. Christmas, in short, is about the only chance a man has to be himself. ' ~Francis C. Farley
 

My dears, Got Bless you, one and all!

ALWAYS COLOURFUL AT CHRISTMAS

Robert 2007

Truth be told, the lei was a bit much......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN

John and Robert - 1987

It has been said that the old geezer does not smile.  Rubbish.  Look at the smile on me face.

Truth be told, John has a smile that could light up a room. I remember the taking of this snap well.  It was Christmas time and I was happy to be celebrating the season and to be sharing time with John.  That smile on me face says it all.

John would have been 68 today.

REMEMBERING

Today I switched on the telly and was confronted by the HBO film "The Normal Heart."  I knew the film was being played this month and went out of my way to avoid it.  I thought that due to the nature of the film it would play at a time I was not likely to be up and would not see it.

There is no doubt that the film is powerful.

Unlike many who will watch this film today, in 2014, I was there at the beginning of this terrible event.  It is not likely that I will ever forget the events lived through.

I did not believe then and do not believe now, that no one cared or that the government did nothing.  No one knew what caused people to get sick.  Leaders of the gay movement were as much in the dark as doctors and the government.  I do know that there was fear.  Fear among gay people and the general population.

I remember hearing about AIDS very early on.  There were a lot of people who had heard of this terrible illness that seemed to be striking down many young gay men.  It was the conversation that took place in quiet corners, in whispers.  In San Francisco they took to calling it 'The Flu'.  "Have you heard that Jack has the 'flu'.

I remember being told NOT to get tested, as it meant nothing, and could be used to round up homosexuals at a later date.

Very early on my partner in life and I took the test together.  We had to fight to get the test together.  We were given a number to identify our sample.  John and I gave each other our numbers, wanting to keep it honest and let the other know what our status was.  Mind, at the time there were members of the gay movement that told folks that the positive result meant only that you had been 'exposed' to the virus.

When the test results came back, John opened my number and it said negative.  I opened John's number and it said positive.  I knew on that day that the person I loved most in the world was 'infected' with a virus that could kill him.  The clock was ticking and I needed to learn all I could about the virus.

I wrote letters.  I went to meetings.  I visited sick friends in hospital.  I helped as much as I could.  Not because I was a perfect person.  I did all that I did because I wanted to be able to help John as much as I could if he got sick.  I also wanted to give myself the courage to stand and fight with John and not run away in his hour of need.

John did get AIDS.  I did not run away.

I remember so much about that period of my life.

I remember the friends that would not come to visit out of fear.  I remember friends hiding their own illness.  I remember so many people left to die alone in hospital.  Mostly I remember the fear in the gay community.  I also remember the anger.

I will go to my grave believing that all that could have been done for John was done.  In the beginning there was not much known about AIDS and there were few drugs that seemed to help.  The most important thing that could be done for John was done.  The people that he cared about were there for him.  His job and his co-workers never turned their back on him.

The HBO film is very powerful.  It will win awards.  It will make people stop and think.

I do not agree with the film.

I do not believe that I have ever been ashamed of being homosexual.  I knew very early on that I was different.  I knew there would be problems in life but then there are problems for everyone who is different.

Who said life was fair?

I have been tested for the AIDS virus more times than I can count.  I have never been infected with the virus.  I seriously doubt that AIDS is something I need to be worried about.

It is sort of nice that being 'homosexual' seems to be the flavour of the decade.  Homosexuals seems to be everywhere these days.  Call me thick as a brick but have they not always been?

Years ago there was a book written about the early days of the AIDS plague.  "And The Band Played On".

There is not a person alive that does not know how you can get AIDS.  Yet people still get AIDS.  It never really was a 'gay plague' and yet the number of new cases have large numbers of gay people.  It is reported that the number of new syphilis cases is on the rise among the gay population.  So much for 'no glove, no love'.

I have more 'straight' friends than gay friends.  No trick that, there are more 'straight' people than gay people.

The HBO film is a powerful film.  It will have loads of folks clucking their tongues and proclaiming to one and all how proud they are to have gay friends.  That is nice.

'and the band plays on'....

EASTER REMEMBERED

 If you can believe, the rather large bunny is MOI....

The lovely lady is Barbara and the gent is me good mate James.  The year was 2009 and we had got together to present Easter Basket to the children that lived in the apartment complex run by the old geezer.  Barbara had spent the night filling baskets, basket that she filled with loads of sweets she contributed to the event.  James was sort of the 'armed guard', to protect the Easter Bunny from the rushing hoards of children.

James had a little one who was quite scared of the Easter Bunny, until he realized that it was the fat old geezer in costume....

 One of my most treasured memories of Easter is visiting Robert in his flat.  Robert was terminal and had not got out much over the last year of his life.  I will forever remember the roar of laughter coming from Robert when he saw me enter.  A really lovely man who has since died.

The chap pictured with MOI is Paul.  Paul was me helper.  In another poor neighbourhood, Paul pushed two trolleys filled with Easter Baskets for the children.   One little boy came up to Paul and asked if it really was the Easter Bunny.  He said that the Easter Bunny had never visited his neighbourhood before.

I may well be just a silly old man but I want to try and bring a few smiles to folks.  Truth be told, it makes me feel so good doing things for other people...

66 REASONS TO BE HAPPY

 I will tell true, the warm glow of me birthday is still about me.  66 may not be as ancient an age as some, but it is an age that was in doubt of achieving.  Turn the numbers up side down and it may well come to pass that the old geezer will be still pounding on his keyboard at age 99.  Now that is a scary thought...

While it may be true that the old geezer is not the handsome devil he once was, there is still much to admire in the looks department.  Life has been kind, the signs of age are gentle...

 I am gobsmacked at how well folks knew me and gifted with things that were a joy to receive.  Not a bad gift in the lot.  I am deeply touched by the Hawaiian quilt received from a lovely lady.  That she made the quilt with me in mind is ever so touching.  I also received a plant from another lovely lady.  The sort of plant I so love.

 Who knew that 66 was going to be so grand?  Just think what would have been missed if the old geezer had given up.

 I am so blessed that my jar is too full to close.

I will have to ponder the gift of 2 dollar bills received.

I wonder if I can bottle the feelings of the last day.  Like a bottle of very expensive cologne, one can dap a little on self in the days ahead and recapture the high...

'je ne sais quoi'

My dears, you will have to bear with this old geezer and his re-use of old snaps to flavour posts.  I am still without a private machine and have not downloaded the newer snaps taken this past months.

Of late me life has taken on a certain je ne sais quoi flavour and of the mind that it suits this old geezer rather well.  It would be a bit hard to define clearly the many events and folks that have played a role in my recent travels.  Travels that seem to never end, not so much the physical but of the mind and soul.  How is that for profound?

Recently met a fellow papist from Minnesota.  One tends to think most that live there as followers of Luther.  This chap is quite worldly and upon first meeting one would not credit with having an active involvement with the church.  It is always a pleasure to meet up with one who is quite happy to acknowledge his love of God and his church.  Not the flag waving sort of faith, more a quiet and sure feel for what he believes and practices on a daily basis.  In these hard times, what with so much negative press directed at the church, it is still a wonder that many do not give up on Holy Mother Church.

In a recent email exchange, the chap wondered why this old geezer was not a priest, or at least a deacon in the church.  It got me to wonder and thought I would explain self to him and to other readers who have wondered about this old geezer and his continued love of the church.

Avid readers of me blog will no doubt be 'au fait' with the abuse suffered by this old geezer in childhood.  That abuse was at the hands of priests and religious who were evil men poising as.

They say that the abused child can foster feelings toward the abuser.  That must have been my case when I contemplated entering the priesthood.  The thoughts did not last long, and truth be told, never truly thought meself as having a 'calling'.

Recent stories in the newspapers have highlighted the troubles in Archdiocese of Philadelphia.  The Archbishop has taken action, after the Grand Jury pushed him up against the wall.  It would seem that every effort is being made by the Archbishop to deal with charges against priests with every consideration for the rights of the priests named at fault.  More's the pity that the same consideration was not shown to the countless abused children.

I will tell true, it took many years to forgive my church and God for what had been done to me as a child.  Much was lost by the abuse, the least of which was the innocence of childhood.

That was then, this is now.

I still have flashbacks every time a story comes out with the headline "Philadelphia Paedophile Priests".

Getting back to the comments from the lovely chap met recently.  One does not tell all to a new 'friend', it was enough to share thoughts on the state of the church we both loved.  There was no way he could have known that his comments would get me to look more closely at the question.

I am not a perfect person.  I try to be the best I can be and to treat all met with kindness.  If my 'je ne sais quoi' led the chap to think me more holy than am, I am flattered.  Mind, I rather think that the chap met has a good idea of who he is and what matters most.  Rather brilliant that...

SPREADING CHRISTMAS CHEER

Rather think that one of best times had at Christmas was dressing up and visiting City Hall and thanking all of the public employees for their service.  What a thrill it was ti see so many adults line up to have picture taken with SANTA.  Mind, it helped that I had a samrt costume on and with the added weight looked very much like SANTA.

Christmas is all about the giving, not the getting.  Truth be told the experience left me with memories that will last a life time.

When is the last time you played SANTA???