MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY

My dears, did you or someone you know make you happy today?  Are you blessed to be more of a 'happy' person than a dour one?

Allow this old geezer to share some happy moments with.

If one is going to be touched, one has to reach out and touch as well.

This old geezer is reaching out to all met.  There is a risk in being open with folks, not all are going to respond in kind to, there will be some who will take advantage of.  Am of the opinion that it is a risk worth taking.

Being the recipient of so much kindness of late, it is rather right to try and share the wealth.  Were I as clever as some will believe me to be, it is a lesson learned too late in life.  I am a work in progress...

"Flowers really do intoxicate me.

Robert - 2010 -  Lord, I was HUGE

Robert - 2010 - Playing in the dirt

Where did I get them shorts?

2010 STORY RE-VISITED

What a difference 4 years make.  Hard to believe I was so large back then........



"Can we conceive what humanity would be if it did not know the flowers?" Maurice Maeterlinck

My dears, for far too long the path leading to the rental office at the Linda Villa was a patch of barren soil, devoid of life and colour.  The whole world saw in a tick that there was no life at the Linda Villa, save a hard mean existance, populated by folks who did not care and had no pride in selves.

Murray Kay's dream for the Linda Villa was as moribound as that patch of earth.  The only thing of note were the rocks placed to keep the dead soil contained there.  Mind, the rocks could have been handy missiles to be hurled at windows of the office by tenants who had been sold a horrid place to live as well.  You pick the purpose.

No more!  After much think on, this old geezer did what had to be done.

Getting down and dirty, MOI, with paid help, dug up soil, added plant food, and started placing plants in front of and round office.  Being full of the spirit, MOI did much to bring life back to the area in front of.

Where there was once dearth, now gathers a plethora of God's smile to man.  Plants!

There be Verbena, Pansies, Marigolds and soon to be added stock.  Bags and bangs of brilliant bark set off the majestic Magnolia tree in the middle of the newly planted gadren.  On both sides of, there is more brilliant bark.

"I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance."
William Wordsworth

You, the dear reader, may well feel that this old geezer has gone 'gooey' over a few plants.  You be right.

The Linda Villa is leading by example.  Sponsoring a "Tenant Garden Contest", to be judged by Supervisor Vasquez and Sheriff Durfor on May 8th, the day of the "LINDA DRUG OUT BLOCK PARTY", this old geezer is passionate in belief that what speaks louder than the actions of.

Evil folks who do drugs, cheat benefits and lazy layabout scroungers are no longer welcome at the Linda Villa.  Planting life in the soil tells one and all that a new day has dawned at the Linda Villa.  The evil creatures of the past need to pack and move on.

My dears, there always be the risk that some evil creature will destroy the lovely garden planted.  Why allow a few evil folks rob one of the joy of beauty?  Why allow yobs to dictate how one will live?  What is life lived in fear and in a prison built by fear?

I will go to me grave believing that one must place one's self at risk to fully appreciate the freedoms placed about.

"If you've never been thrilled to the very edges of your soul by a flower in spring bloom, maybe your soul has never been in bloom." Terri Guillemets

'It's Howdy Doody Time'

It's Howdy Doody Time - More amazing video clips are a click away

DEAR LORD

WHAT A LOT OF FLOWERS

I try to smell the flowers.  Mind, I doubt that sunflowers have a sent.  There is a simple beauty to them.  Like most of life...

'HALLMARK' MOMENT

PLING MEAL

Truth be told I eat loads of meals that come out of the Micro.  Done in a flash and not much to clean up after.

DRUNKS BOTHER ME

There are times I wish a friend would see himself like I do.  Drink is not a pretty thing when it goes on 24/7.

Drunks do weird thing, like pee off the balcony.....

LIFE

ISSUES

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

'I WANT TO BE ALONE'

Never let it be said that the old geezer does not 'get it' when it comes to the 'wanting to be alone' mood.

Spent a lifetime pushing folks away and running off some who dared to get too close.  I am an expert at killing off friendship.

Yesterday I experienced something that made me realize I had been too busy beating my own drum and hearing the tune coming from someone close to.  You might even say BFF.

Having gone to supper, we found ourselves parked outside my home.  The music was playing and I was enjoying chatting with me friend.  My friend saw it differently.

"Do you not think it strange that we are sitting in a parked vehicle?".  So uneasy was me friend that he suggested that we exit the vehicle and chat in the car park.  Like a bolt from above, it came to me what the real problem was.

"Intimacy" is a dirty word to my friend.  Truth be told, 'relationship' does not do much better.

I should have listened better to me friend in the past.  Were it up to him, a cave in the middle of nowhere, visited by no one, would be the perfect place.  Most of what my friend does on a daily basis is 'alone'.  Let me be clear, it is his choice.

There have been periods in my life that were dark and lonely.  I did everything in my power to keep people out of my life.  If you give nothing of yourself to others, they can never hurt you.  Truth be told, I never really wanted to be alone, just was so very afraid to let any one in.

I have let some in.  The periods spent sharing with someone else are some of the best periods of my life.  I do not do 'single' well.  I crave people in my life.  Tend to think I am best when I get out of meself and live life through different eyes.

I have been told that I come on too strong.  Quite right.  I am trying to make up for lost time.

I understand my friend perfectly.  I really do.

I also know how to shut people out completely.  I did that with my half brother and sister.  There was no room for me and I did not want to accept 'conditional' relationship.

However much I love my friend, he has the right to live on his own terms.  If being 'alone' suits him, why push for change.  That bench in the forest can be his alone.

There is a lot of love left in me and life is too short to offer it where it is not wanted.

Funny thing about life, one door closes and another one opens.....

ALOHA FRIDAY

What is not to like about Friday?  Add a little colour to it.  Slip on your ALOHA shirt and sip on a cool drink.  Think palm trees...

FRUIT DOES A BODY GOOD

Wish I had discovered fruit ages ago.  Love it...

'ONLY LOSERS BLOG' ?

Robert, the blogger

"..............GET A LIFE............what makes you think that anyone wants to hear what you have to say?............'only losers blog' and you are one of the biggest......................the use of MOI and all of that UK crap drives me up the walls", quoted from an email received.


For over 5 year, and then some, if you count years lived on other roads and different places, MOI(used as this old geezer loathes to use the 'I' word) has been writing down his thoughts in a public diary about life lived on a road and in a community. Naive enough to believe that a website could educate some about life in a different part of the city and wanting to stay in touch with many mates all over the world. From the start, it was thought that there might be a few other than folks known who would drop by and allow MOI to tell them of events going on. That there has been so many that read it gobsmacks this old geezer.

A blog! Never thought of the website as that but has been pointed out folks calls these things just that. Sounds horrid, like MOI has an illness. Not only writing for website but sharing posts with folks on other sites as well.

Do not know how others 'blog' but MOI does it openly and allows folks to join site. There is an email address on the website that allows folks to contact...................bloody hell, do they ever, and most are not shy about what they have to say. Most seems to know that MOI will use some of the emails in posts, even going so far as to write that they hope MOI does. There are some who send comments and add that they do not want comments shared or for their identity to be told. MOI has never used anything that anyone wanted to be kept secret, never 'outed' anyone. Giving folks an email address s risky business. Not all of the email received(you need look no further than the above sample) is a kiss and not all are fond of this old geezer. That is the way of it!

My dears, there are folks who post blogs that are far more clever than this old geezer will ever be. The writing of many on other blogs is most excellent, and it would seem that many have a thing or two to say and they are not shy about doing it. Many use a 'username' that hides who they may be from folks who read. MOI just is too lazy to think of a clever name and just goes with own.

The risk in being public with opinions, is that some thoughts are going to not sit well with folks. Right mad they get. MOI has always told that is was just his opinion, not the 'burning bush' or a fashionable view. There was a time that a FORUM was open on the website and it went rather well for a long period of time. MOI had to close it as some wanted to post things that could cause problems and that did not sit well with some either. One can not win for losing it seems.

Dear reader, all of this comes up as a post of few days past seems to have rubbed some the wrong way. MOI did not think that there was anything told that was daring or even profound. It would seem that many saw it differently.

My dears, MOI asks the $64,000.00 question. To blog or not to blog? Does the writer of the email make a valid point? Is it daft to write and tell folks what you think and feel? Are the tens of millions who blog just one very large family of 'losers'. Do we do it because we do not have a life and this serves as one? My little chickadees, MOI knows the answer................quite sure that you do as well.

This old geezer writes to reach out and touch others.  AND to be touched.  If one were to take the hits received in one day of the blog, you get a feeling of just how much 'touching is going on.  What follows is but a 'snapshot' in time of one period, one day, in the life of me blog.  This is how the hits broke down;

United States 16,404
United Kingdom 2973
Australia  482
New Zealand   917
South Korea 620
Netherlands 408
Canada 840
Russia 849
Germany 374
Denmark 669
Sweden  547
Norway  251
Ukraine 944
China 354

It has not been a chore to 'blog' for many a month. There is so much heard and seen that MOI hardly thinks that there will ever come a time when 'writer's block' hits. With so many folks peeking in, it truly makes it thrilling to see just how far one can reach with a clever phrase.

Truth be told, this old geezer has is easier than most in finding things to write of.  Mind, MOI does tend to open lots of doors and windows where lived.  Willing to live adventure, to put one's self out.  Not easy to achieve if one is a pier clinger.

MOI has met very interesting folks due to 'blogging', very clever folks. Folks who have made a difference, who care and in many cases have hearts that are bursting with love and kindness. Not a 'loser' in the lot!

For my part, MOI will continue to 'blog'.  The only real important thing in life is to live, to make a difference, no matter how small, in that small part of the world lived, to reach out and touch...

SMART SHOES HAVE CACHET

My dears, this old geezer was out looking for bargains the other day when this post presented self.

I was in a shop looking for a smart shirt to add to collection of colourful shirts already had.  Being a bit hard to spend cash, was in the mood for one that was 'on sale'.  All of the colourful shirts seen were of a certain value and I did not want to part with so much cash to look smart.  The lovely lady who worked in the shop was trying to get MOI to purchase something.  Went so far as to tell that it was her mission to....

I told the lovely lady that I was but a 'poor, old geezer' and was in need of a mark down.  This got the lovely lady to laugh rather loudly and tell that she just knew that was not the case.  When I pressed the lovely lady to tell how she came to such an opinion, she told that it had everything to do with the shoes I was wearing.

To tell true, the shoes upon feet were not hand made, and did not come from a famous fashion house.  Mind, there were a bit dear but not so dear that this old geezer had to fight self to open pocketbook to purchase.

You, the avid reader of me blog, know that I have bad bones.  That I limp, is understatement.  Given that I walk oddly, it is most important that my feet are well looked after.  It simply would not do to not be able to walk due to poor foot care.  So far as is known, the problem with me bones has not gone to me feet, and I would rather it did not.  It follows that wearing good shoes would make the feet co-operate during my wanderings down the road.  That the shoes are well made is a given but I never thought them to be of singular beauty...

Have oft heard lady friends bang on about their shoes.  No clue why it was most important to purchase footwear that cost more than a house.  Right, so I tend to colour the cost a bit, but is quite true that ladies do spent massive amounts on shoes.

Have met many coppers who tell that they tend to purchase shoes that cost a packet.  Looks have nothing to do with, just the comfort of have feet pampered during long shifts.

You do see where I am going with this?

Getting back to the lovely lady in the shop.

No matter how hard I tried to convince the lovely lady that there was no massive pile of cash under bed, she was of the mind that it was not so.  I pride self on trying to get bargains and was at complete loss with this lady.  The bloody shoes had done me in.

I did not purchase anything.  Not for lack of trying.  A case of need not matching up with want.  I have no doubt that I shall return to the shop in the future.  It may well come to pass that I will find a shirt that begs to be added to me wardrobe.  That remains to be seen.  I do know that I will not wear me smart shoes on the next visit and might get lucky and the lovely lady will not remember from past visit.

If nothing else, I learned that me shoes added to me cachet.  How grand is that?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN

John and Robert - 1987

It has been said that the old geezer does not smile.  Rubbish.  Look at the smile on me face.

Truth be told, John has a smile that could light up a room. I remember the taking of this snap well.  It was Christmas time and I was happy to be celebrating the season and to be sharing time with John.  That smile on me face says it all.

John would have been 68 today.

Story of My Life_Neil Diamond (with lyrics)

MEMORIES SHARED

DISCLAIMER: Having been asked multiple time to tell stories from my life and giving the requests much thought, the old geezer has given in and provides a glimpse behind the veil. As with any life, it is the parts of, rather than the whole, that give the best understanding of should think. At least that is the belief of this old geezer. There are defining moments that allow folks to reference in trying to decide what to make of us. What will follow may be more than some will want to know, and they can stop reading. As to the dear reader who continues to read, what will follow will tell on a part of life lived that meant much to MOI and is believed to have shaped the course of his life. Having stated that, pray do not judge what you read until you get to the end and then decide if it gave a better understanding of MOI. Can ask for no more than that.

My dears, MOI sits at machine and quakes at the thought of revealing so much. However outgoing you may think MOI is, to be true, there is a most private person unknown to you. Right, MOI bangs out endless stories of life lived on road to the whole world and HE is 'private'. Bit of a dichotomy that and will leave it to you to sort it all out.

MOI is desperate to not come off as pompous and making every effort to qualify what will follow. Should think that this quote from 'Diary of A Nobody' does that nicely:

"Why should I not publish my diary? I have often seen reminiscences of people I have never even heard of, and I fail to see — because I do not happen to be a 'Somebody' — why my diary should not be interesting. George Grossmith

"Get on with it!" and so MOI shall.

It is convenient for many who have come upon MOI at this point in life to assume that his present visage is one that has always been one presented to the world. Old, fat and sinking into decrepitude. Hair much gone and eyes in need of glasses. No one knows better than MOI that what was once 'golden youth' has long since departed. Trust me my dears, there was a day that MOI was thought of as 'the cat's meow', quite a figure he cut, slim and handsome, even 'dashing'............. That was then and this is now, and the bath mirror tells daily what MOI looks like.

Many, many moons ago, long before the INTERNET, MOI met a chap that was to change his life forever. Did not know at the time, but it is surely how it turned out.

Now, MOI knows full well that for as many who are 'au fait' with, there will be many giving a read that have missed a few chapters here and will be clueless to some things about MOI. MOI is 'bent' as in not straight. 'Gay' if you prefer, although MOI has always been curious as to the popular use of the word to label followers of 'the love that dare not speak it's name'. To be sure, MOI has met many a 'unhappy' homosexual. Yes Virginia, MOI is a 'nancy boy', 'light in the loafers' and would never be thought of as a 'bit of rough'.........you get the picture..........

MOI was sitting at a luncheon counter in a city not unlike one now lived in, when the love of his life entered. Unknown to MOI, this young chap had seen MOI on many different occasions and was hellbent on making himself known to MOI. MOI was reading a book and trying to block out what was going on round and was not happy about being put upon by this chap. Had never paid any attention to in the past and was clueless as to why he would want to introduce self to(not really, but was trying to be coy).

'My name is John, and I have seen you around' he said. Not the most original of lines but it will have to do. He WAS easy on the eye and did have a pleasant manner, so MOI bought into the meet and agreed to go to see a film with. 'The trap was set' and MOI walked right into it. John agreed to see a foreign film(learned later he loathed sub-title films) and a good time was had by both. We agreed to meet again.

A chance meeting turned into a marathon of meeting over the following 7 days and at the end, John took to dinner and came right out with his purpose. Sitting cross from, he set a pair of keys on the table and said: 'I have decided that we are meant for each other and here are the keys to my home, you are to move in!' MOI had never had a real live-in relationship up to that point and was gobsmacked at how firm his belief was that MOI was THE one. To be true, MOI had taken a shine to John and it was not hard to buy into the offer. Kindred souls we were, or so MOI thought at the time, and that was to be more so as time went by.

Will not bore the dear reader with the mundane details of daily life between us. To be true, one does not remember these as clearly as the snapshots of a life shared that spring forward that become the high lights of. And there are so many of these to cling to.

What is remembered on this day are these:

First trip to Lake Tahoe. Driving through the snow in the mountains and chatting all the way. Checking in at the hotel(a rather grand one), taking silver dollars and placing into a massive fruit machine next to check-in, losing $5.00 with first pull and placing the next bet and pulling handle(they still had at that time) turning round and telling that we had just lost $10.00 and had not even made to room or got to eat yet. The massive machine started ringing loudly, with lights flashing. MOI had won the 'JACKPOT', all of the sultans had lined up and $5,000 was won. No fool was John and he quickly told MOI to take the cash and run. We canceled our rooms(they now were offered for FREE), collected winnings in CASH and got back into motor and were headed home. My dears, it had been a long drive there and tired as we had been, we not were quite giddy at having so much cash that we laughed and laughed all the way home. Tired was not even thought of.

Buying our first house. Wondering how we were going to pay the $286.46 mortgage. Tight we were with a quid, we were. There would be many homes to follow but one always remembers the first.

Doing a make-over on John's wardrobe. John was a 'trust fund' baby. Came from 'old money' and had never had to worry about the whole of life. Right odd how the truly rich never think of selves as 'wealthy'. John thought a perfect wardrobe could be had at JCPenney, right off the rack his clothes came and it showed. Out went the old and in came the 'designer look'. From shirts to trousers to under pants and shoes even, John was made over. To be true, John did not put up a fight and loved the 'new' look.

Walking through Macy's one afternoon and John spotting a 'Calvin Klein' leather jacket and wishing he could afford it. My dears, he could, just too bloody tight with cash to part with. MOI went back and bought it and John was gobsmacked at the extravagance. Mind, it soon became his most favourite jacket.

The many holidays taken together in Hawaii. Walking the beaches, dining well, staying at a posh hotel, planning on retiring there one day.

Taking John to his first play and having John take MOI to his first Bette Midler concert.

John standing up for MOI when the newspapers carried stories of the horrid businessman he was. Making money was not something folks thought kindly about, more so when it meant buying run down hotels in rough section of city and moving the old and the poor out. MOI never broke any laws, it was all perfectly legal, but MOI and his partners in business, were not 'social workers' and never gave a thought to the human cost of displacement. It was all about making money. Not nice to see self in the newspaper and called "Tarzan of the Tenderloin". Have a clever columnist write about and liken one to 'what the evil dentist in a film was to dentistry, is DeFrees to hotel industry'. Dark days but John never left side and brushed off the countless newspapers dropped on his desk to draw attention to the horrid creature he lived with. Not once.

Throwing a birthday bash and having all stay away due to the notoriety of MOI. ALL, my dears, personal friends and folks known in local government. John lighting the candles on cake and giving presents to MOI as he cried and cried.

Sitting here, so many memories come flooding back, it is hard to know which to tell. They come back out of order, some stronger than others, but they are quite vivid. It was a life lived, charmed to be sure but it came with a price.

Many sad partings as MOI went off to far away places to do business. Long periods apart in cities across the pond. Missed birthdays and holidays and daily events not shared. There were the telephone calls and the letters and cards. Many, many cards, with messages of longing sent and received. A collection of T-Shirts sent to John from every place visited.

Then came AIDS.

No one who was not there will ever know how horrid that period of time was in the beginning. Stories were told of a strange new illness that was striking down countless homosexual men. 'The Gay Plague' it was wrongly thought of. It got that due to so many homosexuals being among the first brought down by it. MOI read all on the subject he could find. MOI heard it was spread by sexual contact.

MOI had always been told by mates that he was a prude, that he was missing out on the greater ride to be ad by the 'sexual revolution' taking place. The 'candy store' was open for business and all one had to do was enter and feed on all of the delights to be had. Sample away, what is the harm and you might even like it. The problem with 'FREE LOVE' is that it is not entirely free. There has to be some guilt attached to all of that pleasure, and what about STD's. MOI missed the boat and all let him know.

When they came out with a test for risk to AIDS, MOI was one of the first to take. Dragged John with. At the time, the 'Lavender Elite' was not big on it, even suggested that it had no value and could be used to round up folks in the future. Nothing like spreading a few lies to scare folks. In the beginning, one was given the test and a number was handed to, all very private and without identity attached to. No one wanted anyone to know HIV status.

Together, John and MOI got the test, TOGETHER, and his number was exchange with mine so that we would know the true status of the other. A week passed, and the day of the results came. To be true, MOI had bought into the myth and felt that since he had been a life long homosexual, he would have a positive result. My number told John that MOI was negative, and John's number told MOI that he was positive.

The clock was ticking. MOI had done his homework and believe that it was 'infected' with and not 'exposed to' that was the true meaning of the test results. Many did not feel that way. No one wanted to believe that death was coming.

With the support of John, MOI set about trying to help in any way possible. If you think that writing letters to folks is something new, you should have seen in earlier times. MOI was pedantic. Sitting at dining room table, MOI wrote in long hand, one letter after another to any and all one could thing of to help with this growing plague. There were letters to the White House, Senators, Congressmen, health officials, hospitals, newspapers, television and folks known all over the country. Trips were made to Washington and other places to beg for help. Fundraisers were held in home. jumbos put together to raise even more cash. No stone was left upturned. Along the way, MOI lost mates, people one knew stopped come by the house. A congressman likened MOI to a zealot. Doors were slammed shut and telephone calls not returned.

Through it all was John.

When a costume was used to march in front of businesses that were not being morally responsible, John sat in vehicle and watched over. Helped wipe off the spit hurled at MOI. Drove to hospitals to deliver reading material. Picked up from homes of dying men, after a long night of Hospice care.

Throughout 1986, John had many health problems, it was clear that something was coming. Christmas 1986 was a blowout. Vans from every store like delivered present after present for John to have under the tree that year. It was a Christmas to remember.

Through all of the years together, we had never invited workmates of John to our home. We did that year, along with a collection of others special to us. MOI hired caterers, had so much food that tables groaned under the weight of it all. Bartenders mixed drinks. The front of the home had fake snow on the garden, and there were so many lights on the house one almost was blinded by them. Every single room had Christmas in it, and the tree that year never looked better.

Santa even came(with a little help from MOI) and had small presents for each and every one there. MOI gathered all round tree and had Christmas Carols sung, with the voice of MOI being the loudest. It truly was a night to remember.

Just after the holidays, the shoe long waited for, dropped. John was rushed to hospital with 'PCP' a definitive marker for full blown AIDS. John had gone from 'infected' to 'victim'.

My dears, MOI is not going to bore you with horrid details, that is not the point of this story. Quite sure that you know that it was not an easy time. What will be told is the story of how this dark hour turned MOI into what he is today.

John faced his illness with courage and humour. The man had CLASS, buckets of it.

He told the whole world of his illness. No easy thing to do at that time, there was much fear. John told all of his workmates and the company he had worked for all of his life. We told all we knew of his illness. He made a special effort to tell his closest mates.

We went about living, knowing full well that these days remaining were numbered.

Every time John was well enough to travel we boarded a plane and went to Hawaii. These trips gave John so much and there were times we stayed but a day or two, having to return due to his condition.

We planned his funeral, every detail of it. And there were some giggle had in doing that. Sitting at dining room table stuffing Mass cards into envelopes, John remarked how cruel MOI was having him glue his snap on and pass to MOI. He helped pick out the quote used on and even helped decide which music to play for mates at memorial service to be held. We did all of this together, side by side.

John was thrilled when President Ronald Reagan sent MOI a personal letter tell that he, the President and Nancy, were sorry to hear of his illness and that he was in their prayers.

He allowed the local newspaper take his picture along side MOI with a massive bottled water container filled with years of collected pennies, to be donated to an AIDS cause, the bottle had close to $400.00 in pennies.

On the last trip to Hawaii, MOI shared a walk on the beach with John. It was important to know if John felt happy, felt pleased with how life had gone between us. John told MOI that he had no regrets and was proud that MOI was not going to die in the same way. He also told that he felt that he had lived a life most excellent and much of that was due to being a part of MOI's journey. Felt that stories told of far off places visited by MOI made him feel as if he was on every trip taken. He loved all of the people he met through MOI. "Rob, who else do we know that has the Mayor of San Francisco ring up?" Bit of a snob my John was..........John told that he would always be with me and hoped that MOI would never forget how much he loved him.

They say that folks who are soon to die, hang on for special moments. John did that. He wanted to be alive for my 40th birthday. That was the one day he did not want to miss. John had arranged for flowers to be delivered and a massive balloon bouquet. There was also a small box given to MOI. It contained the antique silver ring with stone that MOI wears to this day.

On the day John died, MOI was there. Sitting by his side, holding his hand, MOI watched him depart this life. There was no struggle to hold on, John was a peace and his face showed it.

Many years have passed since John died. MOI has grown old, wiser even. John has never been far from his mind, he is with each and every day, would have it no other way. The many gifts received from John have never been forgot, or the lesson learned from him.

My dears, my life has a few defining moments, but the time blessed to have shared with John is the strongest example of how MOI grew as a person. John taught MOI that money is not the end all in life. There is no coffin built that allows you to shovel it into along with the things one collects. We enter this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. John taught MOI to give to others, to try and treat each and every person met with honour. John taught MOI to believe in self, to fight for that was right, even if others did not agree with. To be true to one's self. John taught MOI to love GOD, and to follow his faith. John made MOI promise to LIVE, to get over grief and go about building a life without him. There was so very much John gave and one wonders if he truly knew how MOI felt of him.

To my mind, John was the best of people. He never harmed anyone, tried to not think ill of anyone, and forgave everyone. Some might be tempted to feel that John wore rose-coloured- glasses. Trust me John knew, he just wanted not going to let the dirt in life land on him. On a visit to the home of one of his closest mates, MOI had to use the loo, and MOI being MOI, opened the medicine cabinet to peek inside. There on the shelf were bottles of medicine folks took to fight AIDS. MOI told John of this. John got very quiet, and his face showed the pain he felt at hearing this news. This person was the closest friend to and John had thought that they were so close that they would share everything with each other. John was gutted. We never went to visit this person again, and John refused all calls from, so hurt was he that his very best friend did not feel comfy enough to tell that they both were in the same boat. John could have used that support. Hurt as John was, he made MOI promise that if this person came to his memorial service, he would have a place of honour and MOI was to tell him that John loved him and was waiting to meet again.

John gave MOI the courage to keep going. There were a few mis-steps but in the end, firm footing was found and MOI lives on. There is not a day that MOI looks to memory of John and hopes that he continues to be proud of MOI. John made MOI a better person for having known him and in no small measure is John responsible for leading to the light and never, ever, losing sight of what is truly important.

In a diary kept from those days, MOI found this item he wrote:


...............have no idea what to do, everything has turned to shit. What about ME!!!!! Who is going to be there for me............it hurts so bad that I just want to die....get it over with.........there is no point............fuck you, John............you left me like everybody else........

Loss made MOI mad, grief was so much to bear. Poor MOI! Funny, however hateful that entry was, none of it was true. Time has healed MOI and he has come to see that John had it right all along. MOI will never be alone.

Folks who asked MOI to peel back the onion may well rue having made the request. Does MOI care if folks get a different view of MOI? Only to the degree that it might allow folks see how MOI came to be MOI. Coming to the end of the post, MOI is pleased to have shared John with you..............think he would be pleased as well.

CANNY TRAMP WAS FILTHY RICH

RELATIVES of a tramp are carving up his ESTATE — after he spent years netting more than £1MILLION recycling discarded drinks cans.

Curt Degerman — known as Tin Can Curt — died aged 60 after years living as a vagrant.
It was only after his death relatives discovered he had the fortune tied up in the stock market.
And he also left behind gold bars worth £240,000 and a current account with £5,000 stashed away.
The Swede died of a heart attack after three decades picking up other people's litter.
He would look for old sandwiches and half-eaten burgers in bins but was often seen devouring the financial pages of Swedish newspapers in the local library.
Armed with this knowledge he amassed a fortune as a shrewd investor on the stock market.
His cousin said: "He went to the library every day because he didn't buy newspapers. There he read the Swedish business daily Dagens Industri."
Another family member said: "He knew stocks inside out."
All the money was left in a will to a cousin who visited him in the last years of his life.
But the authorities forced him to share the money with an uncle after declaring he had a legal right to some of the riches.
They settled the dispute at the last minute on the steps of a courthouse on Monday as they were about to do battle over the windfall.

ARTICLE FOUND IN 'THE SUN', DAILY UK NEWSPAPER

ROBERT

There's a coach coming in filled with 'illegals'

When did it become 'racist' to point out that borders are broken and the country is being over run with 'illegals'?
Arizona tries to do something to stem the tide and the whole country gets riled up.
UK is faced with same problem and have always believed that what happens there is a mirror of what ails us on this side of the pond.

ONE DAY

Flashmob Moscow (Russia) : Putting on the ritz 2012

Árstíðir - Heyr himna smiður (Icelandic hymn) in train station

WOULD YOU TAKE A DRINK

FRIDAY 13TH WARNINGS

FRIDAY THE 13TH

SHARING

Personally, I rather think I am looking good these days.  Mind, the sight of me old body would be too much for most to bear.

I'll let folks just imagine how grand me bod is.....

I REMEMBER PARIS

CHANGE

Truth be told, I am as guilty as the next man when it comes to NOT making changes.  The old is tried and true and one knows what to expect.  More's the pity that...

Change is a good thing.  Took a lifetime to get it right, but I always was a quick study.

The biggest single problem in me life was my feeling sorry for meself.  Playing the victim suited me.

Right, so I got shat on.  Who has not?  Change is hard.  Change does bring improvement, not as swiftly as one would like, but improvement nevertheless.

I wish I could report that I am perfect.  I still harbour ill feelings toward my birth mother.  I still resent my half brother and sister.  The hate is gone but the bad taste in me mouth refuses to go away.

I appreciate all of the lovely people who are in my life.  I take no one for granted.

Daily, I face each and every day with a positive attitude.  Right proud I am of the weight loss and the coping with going deaf.  Daily I sail forth from my home and seek out adventure.  New people.

It's Not Just for Gays Anymore - Neil Patrick Harris

BEEN TOLD

Collabro - Richard Hadfield singing Empty Chairs at Brighton Rock Choir

ME,MYSELF AND I

Robert - 2014

 Let us be clear about one thing.  This blog is all about MOI.

Truth be told, I think I am bloody brilliant these days.  Who would have thought the old geezer would be 'normal' size...

Rather think I have well formed legs.  I do think I wear an ALOHA shirt with a certain flair.

There are some who feel that the old geezer does not 'smile' enough.  As you can see from the snap, the old geezer has a brilliant smile.

Lame I may be but do not think am near the emotional cripple have been in the past.  There is much love in me life and am right pleased to have picked a lovely 'circle of life' to be a part of.

Barbra Streisand People (1965)

Britain's Got Talent S08E01 Collabro Amazing Classical / Musical Boy Band

BLAZING SADDLES

MUST HAVE WATCH

'Experts think it is the most important Rolex watch ever made.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2649427/Gold-Rolex-given-D-Day-hero-President-Eisenhower-expected-fetch-1MILLION-auctioned-time-ever.html#ixzz33zMKvPg7
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WALLS

V for Vendetta: The Revolutionary Speech (HD)

The Most Honest Three Minutes In Television History

The Greatest Speech Ever Made - Charlie Chaplin

Franklin D. Roosevelt Speech (WW2 in HD Ending)

D-day FDR prayer. (two steps from hell, heart of courage)

D - DAY REMEMBERED AND MORE

 Saving the world is out of fashion these days.  One can only imagine what courage it took to walk into the hell that was waiting on the beaches that day.

Alan Turing.  A quiet, gentle man, who did much to win the war.  He did not carry a gun.  His brilliant mind came up with the code breaking that saved lived and ended the war much sooner.

SPECIAL FRIENDS MAKE FOR A BRILLIANT VISIT

You, who are 'au fait' with the special people in me life will know that James and Chandra rank right up there in the 'special' department.

Alan had listened to me pleas for a road trip and agreed to take me to visit Marysville.

Alan is a most excellent driver and planned the trip with the precision of a military maneuver.  The best rout was picked and he even 'googled' the address to make sure he knew which house to arrive at.   Alan wanted to spare his vehicle the trip and hired the brilliant motor for the trip.  So brilliant was the vehicle it barely had 100 miles on it.

I had told James that we would arrive in the morning and was a bit shocked to arrive and find that he had run off to do a bit of shopping and was not due to be back for hours.  James rang up his wife and told her that I was standing outside her door and to let me in.

Poor Chandra.  Chandra works at a local hospital as a night nurse and had just pulled a 12 hour shift.  She was dead tired and had not been told I was coming...

Chandra being ever so lovely, pulled on some clothing and came out to meet us.  "I rang up my husband and told him that it was terrible that he had not told me you were coming.   Here you have the world's biggest 'clean freak' coming and I have worked all night and the house is a mess.  You owe me..."

Chandra put the kettle on for coffee and Alan departed to do some exploring.  This was going to be some visit.

Right, so the house was not perfect.  How could it be when you live with a man who still believe the woman does it all?  There are 4 children, and all of their friends that come by.

The house had that certain 'lived' in look.  It is a nice house.  The first house James and Chandra have bought.  It is still a work in progress.

Chandra and I had a right good chin wag.  Caught up on all of the gossip we did.

When the two youngest children got out of school, I was pleased that they loved the gifts brought and they were over the moon about all of the candy.

Jimmy is the youngest and has changed so much in the time since last seen.  He no longer has red hair but is still quite the hand full.  Haley is bigger and showing the signs of becoming a very pretty little lady.  Alex is a very big 13 but still a wee bit on the shy side.  Jamie is the oldest, being 16 and soon to be graduated from High School.  James is no little girl.  At 16, can only wonder at the many hearts she will break.

James did make it back from his shopping and we all sat round and enjoyed the visit.  Hard to imagine how much time has gone by since we all met the very first time.

I could not help but notice all of the love that was going on in the house.  The kids are well mannered and do not lack for attention from the parents.  James and Chandra rule with a firm hand.  It is very much a parent/child thing.  James is very much in love with his wife and Chandra is well aware of James.  Chandra told me that when she gets ready for her night shift, she makes a very deliberate effort to look as pretty as possible for that small window of time spent together.

The day flew by and I was sorry to see that it was time to go.  We all made a promise that we would see each other more oft.

Alan drove us home in good time and I made sure that he was aware of just how the grand the day had been for me.

BAD BREATH BINGE

ROAD TRIP

I am off to some some dear friends.  The trip will be fun, made all the more pleasurable by getting to spend time with folks one does not see oft.

BAD FOODS

Seriously, who would want to eat these things?  Times likes these make me ever so thankful that I can not taste...

REMEMBERING

Today I switched on the telly and was confronted by the HBO film "The Normal Heart."  I knew the film was being played this month and went out of my way to avoid it.  I thought that due to the nature of the film it would play at a time I was not likely to be up and would not see it.

There is no doubt that the film is powerful.

Unlike many who will watch this film today, in 2014, I was there at the beginning of this terrible event.  It is not likely that I will ever forget the events lived through.

I did not believe then and do not believe now, that no one cared or that the government did nothing.  No one knew what caused people to get sick.  Leaders of the gay movement were as much in the dark as doctors and the government.  I do know that there was fear.  Fear among gay people and the general population.

I remember hearing about AIDS very early on.  There were a lot of people who had heard of this terrible illness that seemed to be striking down many young gay men.  It was the conversation that took place in quiet corners, in whispers.  In San Francisco they took to calling it 'The Flu'.  "Have you heard that Jack has the 'flu'.

I remember being told NOT to get tested, as it meant nothing, and could be used to round up homosexuals at a later date.

Very early on my partner in life and I took the test together.  We had to fight to get the test together.  We were given a number to identify our sample.  John and I gave each other our numbers, wanting to keep it honest and let the other know what our status was.  Mind, at the time there were members of the gay movement that told folks that the positive result meant only that you had been 'exposed' to the virus.

When the test results came back, John opened my number and it said negative.  I opened John's number and it said positive.  I knew on that day that the person I loved most in the world was 'infected' with a virus that could kill him.  The clock was ticking and I needed to learn all I could about the virus.

I wrote letters.  I went to meetings.  I visited sick friends in hospital.  I helped as much as I could.  Not because I was a perfect person.  I did all that I did because I wanted to be able to help John as much as I could if he got sick.  I also wanted to give myself the courage to stand and fight with John and not run away in his hour of need.

John did get AIDS.  I did not run away.

I remember so much about that period of my life.

I remember the friends that would not come to visit out of fear.  I remember friends hiding their own illness.  I remember so many people left to die alone in hospital.  Mostly I remember the fear in the gay community.  I also remember the anger.

I will go to my grave believing that all that could have been done for John was done.  In the beginning there was not much known about AIDS and there were few drugs that seemed to help.  The most important thing that could be done for John was done.  The people that he cared about were there for him.  His job and his co-workers never turned their back on him.

The HBO film is very powerful.  It will win awards.  It will make people stop and think.

I do not agree with the film.

I do not believe that I have ever been ashamed of being homosexual.  I knew very early on that I was different.  I knew there would be problems in life but then there are problems for everyone who is different.

Who said life was fair?

I have been tested for the AIDS virus more times than I can count.  I have never been infected with the virus.  I seriously doubt that AIDS is something I need to be worried about.

It is sort of nice that being 'homosexual' seems to be the flavour of the decade.  Homosexuals seems to be everywhere these days.  Call me thick as a brick but have they not always been?

Years ago there was a book written about the early days of the AIDS plague.  "And The Band Played On".

There is not a person alive that does not know how you can get AIDS.  Yet people still get AIDS.  It never really was a 'gay plague' and yet the number of new cases have large numbers of gay people.  It is reported that the number of new syphilis cases is on the rise among the gay population.  So much for 'no glove, no love'.

I have more 'straight' friends than gay friends.  No trick that, there are more 'straight' people than gay people.

The HBO film is a powerful film.  It will have loads of folks clucking their tongues and proclaiming to one and all how proud they are to have gay friends.  That is nice.

'and the band plays on'....

COMPASSION

ENERGY SPILL

ALOHA

JUNE GIGGLE