PAUL PLAYS FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE - REVISITED

Paul - A Real 'Angel of Mercy'

There is nothing like 'illness' to bring to the fore who your real 'mates' are...

Nothing prepared me for all of the acts of kindness that Paul would show me during my recent surgery and after.

Where do I begin?  For starters, Paul made sure that I arrived at hospital on time on the day of surgery.  He acted as my ears and helped navigate the filling out of forms and passing on information.  Being used to my deafness, he knew just how to get the information to me.  Paul sat with the old geezer before the surgery and came back to collect me when it was time to go home.

When the blood flow from the operation filled the protective cup covering the ear, he changed the dressings multiple times, rang the doctor, fetched more dressings and kept me calm.  He covered the bed so that the blood would not ruin the linen and set up water and pills and other needs to help me get comfy.  Not wanting to leave me unattended, Paul made up the couch in the living room so that he could check on me through the first night and was quick with a wash cloth to clean me up when the blood leaked out and covered me face and neck.  Made sure I took the pills to fight infection.

Paul prepared light food to eat, even though I could not taste it.  More on that later.

Day after surgery, when his vehicle would not start, rang up a taxi to ensure that appointment was kept with doctor to do follow up, and got us back home.

Paul ,is no spring chicken, and has his own problems with a bum leg, so to put himself out for this old geezer was touching to say the least.  I have not known Paul for ages, and being room-mates does not mean he signed on to play Florence Nightingale.  He could not have been more of a comfort and it was all very touching.

This old geezer has had a much easier time of it due to Paul and his care.  Who would have thought?

Just when you thought you knew who care about you the most, something wondrous comes along and makes you realize that you are much cared for in a quarter least expected.  Along with Paul, there has been the dry wit of Alan, along with his prayers, The Big Kahuna with his wicked sense of humour,

This old geezer can be a bit much for some to take, and for Paul to take the time to 'sign' (or some form of), talk loudly and do all of the small acts of kindness, has not gone unnoticed.  I do not know where to begin in my effort to thank.

Since I first wrote about Paul, there have been a few other entries on the blog about Paul.  Some were not kind, due to his drinking.  Sadly, I received word today that Paul lost his battle with the bottle.

Paul was the worst kind of alcoholic.  He drank in bars to have people he hardly knew join him in having fun.  Paul was very generous in bars.  He drank heavy and made sure that all in the bar drank heavy as well.  They did, on his dime.  Barkeeps made a small fortune keeping the alcohol flowing.

Paul would buy the barkeep everytime he needed his glass filled, and pass over a generous tip.

I knew Paul for 4 years.  During the four years, I got to hear all of Paul's stories.  You know the kind of stories, where I lived, what I did for a living, who my folks were, how much money I spent and the people I loved.

Paul knew at early age that he was homosexual.  Paul also knew that being homosexual in rural Nevada was not going to go over well.  Paul learned very early on to hide his true sexual self.  He did that all of his life and only came to realize how heavy a price he paid too late in life.

Like most closeted homosexuals, Paul was convinced that no one knew.  When he tried to beat back the alcoholism later in life, he joined AA and starting to talk about some of the reasons he drank.  He told one meeting that he was homosexual and was shocked when members told they already knew that.  Seems Paul was not very butch when he drank...

Paul got lucky twice in life.  Came into family fortunes twice.  All of that money allowed Paul to visit the casinos in high style.  Paul was a BIG SPENDER.  Follows that the casinos were more than willing to pander to him to get his cash.  They did twice.

I got the feeling from talking with Paul that he resented losing all of his money, never got over it.  Mind, his alcoholism did not seem to be to blame.

Paul started to lose control of his drinking some time in 2013 and it got much worse in 2014.  Multiple trips to hospital revealed that if he dd not stop, life would end.  Paul would stop for a few weeks and then return to the bottle or more a day habit.

I had a ring side seat to just how bad alcoholics get.  Not bathing, not eating.  Complete lose of self esteem.  The filth.

One Christmas I went to visit and try and cheer up Paul.  Paul had been drinking all day and was in the crying stage of the bender.  Paul told me that he envied me.  ME.  I asked why.  Paul told me that he admired the fact that I had lived an open life.  I had lived for me and not others.  One of the great sadnesses of his life was hiding his true nature and never allowing love to happen.

Truth be told, I have made my share of mistakes.  Things could have been different but as a whole, I am pretty happy with life.  It was very sad to hear Paul tell of his unhappiness with life.

Paul drove most of his friends off.  The drinking and his filthy living conditions did not encourage people to visit.

I stayed close to Paul for a long time.  Actually was happy to have place thousands of miles between us, as I could not face seeing him doing terrible things to self.  There were telephone calls.  Telephone calls that Paul made drunk and went nowhere.  Paul just made me sad.

Paul died on July 30, 2015, weeks shy of 73rd birthday.

I will alway remember Paul taking care of me when my ears went bad.  Paul was very kind.

That is the Paul I will remember.  I hope Paul has found the peace he was so desperate to have.

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Life is not fair.  The skies are not always cloud free. There is no 'free' lunch.  There are falls along the path of life.  There is loss and pain in life.  BUT...

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.  Beats the alternative by a long shot.

Walking yesterday, I was in a most reflective mood, and the mood continued as I walked, sat, walked and sat.  Right good think on MOI had.

Brick by brick, MOI is rebuilding his 'house', been a few complete re-models in me day, but this one has to last longer than the hip replacement...

There is a lot to be said for allowing a good mate throw buckets of truth at. Takes even more to know that much of what is said is done in kindness and not meanness.  Always knew in me heart of hearts that such a good mate was to be found in Alan.  There be some who would think that Alan and the old geezer are like chalk and cheese,  the ones who feel that do not really know either of us.  Completely different, to be sure, but good hearts...

Given all of the drama of last year, MOI had learned to play the role of broken down old man well.  Right, so the hearing is shot and the leg a bit lame, but that did not mean that the grave was upon.  There have been a few times when it might well have been welcomed, but that seems to have gone.  What is left is a renewed interest in the 'land of the living'.  MOI wants very much to continue to hear the stories round and enjoy being an active part of life, even if it is limited a bit.

How do you place a value on the gift of friendship received?  A friendship that has not always been equal?

There have been three people who has witnessed the rise and fall of me fortunes.  Three good mates who never turned back on.  Always were there when a shoulder was required to cry on.  Some longer than others but in the end each took the old geezer to bosom and held close throughout good times and bad.  Each hoped that MOI would 'pull it together', buck up and carry on.

Rather think I have been extraordinarily lucky...

TIME FLIES

The handsome man in the snap above is the old geezer when he was 39 years old.  That be the chap with brown hair, the other was my companion, who has been dead these past 27 years.

I have been very fortunate in life.  I have known real love and I have enjoyed many wondrous adventures.  I have no reason to believe that the adventures are still coming my way.

I look very happy in the snap.  Truth be told I am quite happy now.  Life is working out well.  I have no real complaints.

I have taken on some challenges of late.  Challenges that will keep me active and might make some positive changes in the lives of people around me.

My relationship with Hawaii has always been a good one.  However oft I left, I have always returned.  This is where John's ashes are and there is no other place that has such ALOHA.  My fortunes have gone up and down but I have always wanted to end my days in Hawaii.  Recent changes have made it likely that I will.  I am pleased about that.

I have never had large number of friends.  I consider myself lucky that I have friends of long standing that love me just the way I am.

There are some who want to get over on me.  That is not going to happen.  I am content with my circle of friends and have no desire to be the most popular person in Waikiki.

Today is Prince Kuhio Day, a holiday in Hawaii.  Seems altogether fitting that the big parade is scheduled for Saturday.  How lovely that they will be having a parade on my birthday...

'HAPPY' IS THE BEST

A lifetime of searching has made me realize the honesty of the statement made by John Lennon.

I am more 'happy' now than have been in ages and that explains why I am having such a wonderful life at present.  Honest.  Life is pretty darn good at present.

"I THINK I CAN" - INCLUSIVE, NOT EXCLUSIVE CHANT !

The story of the little engine has been told and retold many times. The underlying theme however is the same - a stranded train is unable to find an engine willing to take it on over difficult terrain to its destination. Only the little blue engine is willing to try, and while repeating the mantra "I think I can, I think I can" overcomes a seemingly impossible task.

"The little engine is a famous anthropomorphic locomotive"...........................much like Robert.


"I think I can, I think I can" says "The little Engine That Could".  All my life, I have been chanting.  Wanting to prove that I had the ability to move the massive amount of baggage I carried through life.

"I think I can, I think I can". MOI has believed in his ability to be whatever he wanted to be, nothing was or is impossible.

"I think I can, I think I can" says "The Little Engine That Could", AKA Robert. Truth be told, MOI is unsure if it is panache or pluck that allows him to believe that things can be sorted out by explaining to folks that things are never as bad as them seem and the future can be as bright as we dream it to be.

  Right, you are 'au fait' with are just beside selves with giggles round now.  Wicked you be!  Let me continue with me story....

It is the start of another year.  Am of the strong belief that 2015 is going to one heck of a year.  Wondrous things shall come to pass.

IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT 'ME'...

Being 'au fait' as readers of me blog tend to be, they realize that what this old geezer writes about is LIFE.  Life that is seen through me eyes and lived, imperfect at times, but still lived.

However difficult life is at times, one is constantly amazed at how oft the door of opportunity swings open and begs one to have the courage to venture through that door.

Some time back, the old geezer took to the road of life in search of his 'safe harbour', a place where one could knock the dust of heavy times from trainers and collect thoughts and try to find inner peace.  A place to feel welcome and safe.  It would seem that relief from the burdens of everyday life comes at one from unexpected corners.  One never knows truly what lies ahead, round the next corner or in the welcome offered by a new friend in life.

I am lucky.  There always seems to be someone who takes a shine to and makes the journey worth the taking and all the more likely that one will come away with a much better feeling of self and a renewed joy in life. 

If one takes the time to listen to the stories told round one, one hears many a tale that mirrors one's own fight to make sense of life.  The mystery that seems to baffle one is really no mystery at all, the challenge of living life is one faced by more that self.  The trick seems to be to realize that some face the challenge better and come away the better for it.  That is not to say that scars are not got from the battle.

I have met  persons of late who makes me stop and take stock of what frightens me, what holds me back and what makes me feel low at times.  Some have led exemplary lives.  Had a life's work that provided a good living and provided a good retirement.  Most punched ticket in all of the right places.  Paid taxes, cared about community and tried to right what wrongs seen as they travelled down the road of life.

That is not to say that some have not suffered the tragic in life.  Paid a heavy price for being true to self.  Family was not as supportive as one would have liked and choices in who to love did not provide with a union that lasted all of their days.

The wounds received in one's youth tend to be the ones that never really heal proper.  They come back to haunt later in life.  Truth be told, this old geezer knows that all too well.

What should be the 'golden' period of life, is filled with much depression.  One wonders what it has all been for and what lies ahead.  As clever as one appears to be, one tends to think that there should be more.  As if there is still the possibility that days will be filled with the loudness of Christmas and Fourth of July.  There has to be more.
\
The battle to make sense of what is now and what one hopes for is huge.  So thick is the smoke of battle that one tends to not see what already has been granted and to appreciate the bounty of it all.

In the past I have banged on about what ails me.  Some would think a little too loudly.  May well be more truth to that than am willing to lay claim to at times.

Whatever my problems, they are not so unique.  All one has to do is listen to voices round to know that we all suffer loss and want.  There are dark days enough to go round many times over.  Mind, one has to remember that the the sun always come back out.  So dark it is not that a ray of light does not brighten the future.

I oft wonder what is the point of life.  There have even been times that the thought of suicide seemed a perfect end to problems faced.  The cloud of depression is not unknown to me.

It may well be that the trick of me life is to be here for folks met who need to realize that however dark the present moment is, there are brighter days ahead.  Having faced so very many dark days, I know that to be so very true.  In some small way it might be possible to lend a helping hand to another in need of bucking up.

Life is not just about ME.  A life worth living is one that shares AND remembers that life lived is not a solitary experience.

I hope that my new friends chase away the ghosts of the past and comes to see the beauty they add to my world, because they have a place in it.

TAKE THE PLUNGE

Sometimes you just have to let go.  Maybe not as much as the chap in this photo but still let go.

It takes a 'leap of faith' to take the leap.

I woke up this morning and felt grand.  The leg is not sore and the Shingles has run its course for the most part.  It was real easy to roll out of bed and start my day.  It is Monday, after all,  The coming week might reveal great things.  I am greedy enough to want to get it all...

'AMOUR DE LA VIE'

'Amour de la vie' as the French would say. When this old geezer filmed the above bit for YOUTUBE, life was going grand.  There was no hint that much would change in the coming months and years.

Received a post the other day from one who has followed this blog for many months and they wanted to remind MOI of what was felt in the past.  Sort of a wake up call from a lovely reader.  I watched this and felt that all put forth was still valid.  I did indeed feel that life was worth the effort, regardless of what may come.

From where I sit, I rather think that most will agree that my return to this public diary confirms the view held by this old geezer that there is a brighter light round of late.  Mind, am still sorting out the clouds that passed over and making an effort to gain a better insight into why my soul felt so damaged.  I tend to think it stems mostly from my not doing 'alone' well.

I have shared with you in the past that I am a most private person.  Mind, that seems to be strange as I am so open, what with this blog, filmed bits on the Internet and a very public campaign to change the wicked behaviour of some folks.  Truth be told, it is a struggle at times for me to deal with.

I am a contradiction...

Without reservation I can tell you, the dear reader, that events of late have made me more aware of just how wondrous life is.  People, places and things still gobsmack me.  I would like to believe that that will continue to be the case.  Were it not so, what would be the challenge?

Life is not fair, not all we want comes our way but in the end, I do truly believe that we get all that we deserve in life, and then some.  The trick is to keep hanging on.  One never knows what is round the next bend in the path of life.  Ending the journey, either by stopping in one place or just giving up will leave much not discovered.

I do not like all met.  Who does?  I do try to give fair play to what they have to say.  Some fall short.  I do not suffer fools easily.  Truth be told, there are some who do not view this old geezer fondly either.  Fair enough.

I AM NOT DEAD YET

Robert is getting old, really OLD

A former Obama health policy adviser has insisted he wants to be dead by his 75th birthday as the elderly are 'feeble, ineffectual and pathetic.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2766713/I-hope-die-75-Prominent-doctor-Obama-s-former-health-policy-adviser-hits-misguided-desperation-endlessly-extend-life.html#ixzz3EAkdlsoV
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

I want to be that nasty old bugger who lives forever.  What do I care if I can not walk, hear or control bladder......

ROUGH MORNING?

Right, it is half 3 in the morning and many of me readers are still tucked up in their beds.

I awoke this AM, switched on the lamp and jumped out of bed, right pleased that another day was here.  Truly...

July 24th - A Day in Me Life on Earth - 2010

Cheeky bugger be this old geezer. Mind, you already know that...
Today is the day devoted to all on YouTube to film a bit of life and send in to be part of a global 'day in the life on Earth', with selected filmed bits being used for a film to be presented at the Sundance Film Festival. Can you imagine?
With undiluted pleasure this old geezer faces each day, considering the alternative. Having no shame, MOI sits with cuppa in bed clothes and ponders this day.
Clueless as to how this day will turn out but very much wanting to see how it unfolds and what new stories are heard and what wondrous sights are seen.
Will tell you true, the water cooler makes for interesting tool in promoting conversation and do so love getting folks to draw near and chat...

I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO HAVE A GOOD DAY TODAY!

Right, it is not Oklahoma but who can deny that the message is quite clear?

Rather than regret the arrival of another day, this old geezer faces the day with much promise.  What wonders will unfold this day?   Where will life's journey take one?

I am going to have a most excellent adventure today.  Will you?

WISDOM FROM NEW 'FRIEND'

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets.. So love The people who treat you right.. Pray for the Ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a Reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both Hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life Would be easy, they just promised it would be Worth it. Friends are like balloons; Once you let them go, you might not get them Back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own Lives and problems that we may not even notice That we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so Caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we Forget what's right and wrong.. Sometimes we just Don't realize what real friendship means until it Is too late. I don't want to let that happen so I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose You. "

There is no snap to go with. Mind, there were some when sent, but it is the words that stand alone here. Words full of meaning.

My walk down the path of life is made rich by folks met on that path. Meeting Marilyn has made me wealthy, as have others. I want never to forget that I am made up of the sum of their kindnesses.

'ONLY LOSERS BLOG' ?

Robert, the blogger

"..............GET A LIFE............what makes you think that anyone wants to hear what you have to say?............'only losers blog' and you are one of the biggest......................the use of MOI and all of that UK crap drives me up the walls", quoted from an email received.


For over 5 year, and then some, if you count years lived on other roads and different places, MOI(used as this old geezer loathes to use the 'I' word) has been writing down his thoughts in a public diary about life lived on a road and in a community. Naive enough to believe that a website could educate some about life in a different part of the city and wanting to stay in touch with many mates all over the world. From the start, it was thought that there might be a few other than folks known who would drop by and allow MOI to tell them of events going on. That there has been so many that read it gobsmacks this old geezer.

A blog! Never thought of the website as that but has been pointed out folks calls these things just that. Sounds horrid, like MOI has an illness. Not only writing for website but sharing posts with folks on other sites as well.

Do not know how others 'blog' but MOI does it openly and allows folks to join site. There is an email address on the website that allows folks to contact...................bloody hell, do they ever, and most are not shy about what they have to say. Most seems to know that MOI will use some of the emails in posts, even going so far as to write that they hope MOI does. There are some who send comments and add that they do not want comments shared or for their identity to be told. MOI has never used anything that anyone wanted to be kept secret, never 'outed' anyone. Giving folks an email address s risky business. Not all of the email received(you need look no further than the above sample) is a kiss and not all are fond of this old geezer. That is the way of it!

My dears, there are folks who post blogs that are far more clever than this old geezer will ever be. The writing of many on other blogs is most excellent, and it would seem that many have a thing or two to say and they are not shy about doing it. Many use a 'username' that hides who they may be from folks who read. MOI just is too lazy to think of a clever name and just goes with own.

The risk in being public with opinions, is that some thoughts are going to not sit well with folks. Right mad they get. MOI has always told that is was just his opinion, not the 'burning bush' or a fashionable view. There was a time that a FORUM was open on the website and it went rather well for a long period of time. MOI had to close it as some wanted to post things that could cause problems and that did not sit well with some either. One can not win for losing it seems.

Dear reader, all of this comes up as a post of few days past seems to have rubbed some the wrong way. MOI did not think that there was anything told that was daring or even profound. It would seem that many saw it differently.

My dears, MOI asks the $64,000.00 question. To blog or not to blog? Does the writer of the email make a valid point? Is it daft to write and tell folks what you think and feel? Are the tens of millions who blog just one very large family of 'losers'. Do we do it because we do not have a life and this serves as one? My little chickadees, MOI knows the answer................quite sure that you do as well.

This old geezer writes to reach out and touch others.  AND to be touched.  If one were to take the hits received in one day of the blog, you get a feeling of just how much 'touching is going on.  What follows is but a 'snapshot' in time of one period, one day, in the life of me blog.  This is how the hits broke down;

United States 16,404
United Kingdom 2973
Australia  482
New Zealand   917
South Korea 620
Netherlands 408
Canada 840
Russia 849
Germany 374
Denmark 669
Sweden  547
Norway  251
Ukraine 944
China 354

It has not been a chore to 'blog' for many a month. There is so much heard and seen that MOI hardly thinks that there will ever come a time when 'writer's block' hits. With so many folks peeking in, it truly makes it thrilling to see just how far one can reach with a clever phrase.

Truth be told, this old geezer has is easier than most in finding things to write of.  Mind, MOI does tend to open lots of doors and windows where lived.  Willing to live adventure, to put one's self out.  Not easy to achieve if one is a pier clinger.

MOI has met very interesting folks due to 'blogging', very clever folks. Folks who have made a difference, who care and in many cases have hearts that are bursting with love and kindness. Not a 'loser' in the lot!

For my part, MOI will continue to 'blog'.  The only real important thing in life is to live, to make a difference, no matter how small, in that small part of the world lived, to reach out and touch...

CHANGE

Truth be told, I am as guilty as the next man when it comes to NOT making changes.  The old is tried and true and one knows what to expect.  More's the pity that...

Change is a good thing.  Took a lifetime to get it right, but I always was a quick study.

The biggest single problem in me life was my feeling sorry for meself.  Playing the victim suited me.

Right, so I got shat on.  Who has not?  Change is hard.  Change does bring improvement, not as swiftly as one would like, but improvement nevertheless.

I wish I could report that I am perfect.  I still harbour ill feelings toward my birth mother.  I still resent my half brother and sister.  The hate is gone but the bad taste in me mouth refuses to go away.

I appreciate all of the lovely people who are in my life.  I take no one for granted.

Daily, I face each and every day with a positive attitude.  Right proud I am of the weight loss and the coping with going deaf.  Daily I sail forth from my home and seek out adventure.  New people.

DO NOT LET GO

There have been times in me life that I did not want to face another day, let alone seize it.  That was then and this is now...

The first time I tried to kill meself I was a little boy, the last time was a man of 40 plus.

Truth be told, I am right glad that I did not get it right.  Just think of all I would have missed.  True, there have ups and downs, and life has not always gone as I would have wanted it to.  I have lost folks dear to me and I have had some dark moments when the tears out numbered the laughs.  I am sure that be true of many.

I am a work in progress.  Of late things have been pretty grand.  Am more at peace with meself than I have ever been.  I like me.  More important, I know that there are folks who think I am pretty special and like me as well.  That is a good thing.

Rather think John would be proud of the man I have become.  John would be right pleased that I have gone on living.

CATCH A DROP OF LIFE

Like the bird featured in the snap above, the old geezer tries to catch every precious drop of life from the faucet of Life.

Call me weird but I looked at the featured snap and it got me to thinking.  There be some that feel the old geezer thinks too much.

However hard or mean life has been at times, I always knew that LIFE renewed, that the waters of Life were not always muddied and the next offering just might be refreshing.  Just like the bird, the old geezer was willing to fly in close and catch that drop that made the flight to, all the more rewarding.

Of late, the old geezer has been catching lots of drops from the faucet of LIFE.  Each drop treasured.

What can I say?  I am on a real high of late...

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;


Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,


And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.


I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
ROBERT FROST

The promise of Robert was vitiated by past and family. Both played an equal part in what happen. As if the whole community conspired to deliver the worst of the worst to the doorstep of. Mind, the whole world had passed judgment on Robert and it followed that many looking to be less than brilliant came to believe that he was the perfect person to do harm to.

Life is not a one trick act. What passes for normal one day could well be less than in the future. It is a constant changing experience and to deny that one had to adapt to, is right daft.

It is not enough to change behaviour, one must also break off relationships with folks who hold one back. However lovely they be, or regard held in, if there is to be improvement, one had to value the cost of that relationship, and move on if the cost is too great.

More's the pity that some known in life do not have the good grace to move on with their lives when it is clear that their actions are causing harm.

Never understood how a bad friend feels let down when the ax comes down and removes from a position of trust. OR refuses to learn how to do better. Seems quite natural for past friends to place blame on the friend who moves on and not selves. They refuse to move on and stay close to cause grief to, in hopes that more will join the campaign to sully the reputation of the past friend.

The old geezer may well not be the best friend,  there have been moments in the past when friendship was not as highly prized as it is now.  Many missed opportunities.

I like to think of self as a work in progress.  Quick learner.  Long gone are the dark periods when I beat up on meself.  Have long since learned that there be folks who think kindly toward and like having me round for a spell.

There was a great deal of anger felt toward some members of me family met late in life.  I went out of me way to let them know how I felt.  Along with the anger was blame placed on.  That was most unkind.  Truth be told, there is little doubt that the actions of me birth mother ruined more lives then mine.  They, like the old geezer, had to find their own places in the world, deal with own let downs.

I do not know the other children my mother had, have no clue what lives they live or what there hopes are.  They are no more a part of my life than I am of theirs.  I have created my own sort of family, made up of folks who have taken the time to discover who I am and what I am made up of.  They have shared the good times with me as well as been there during the rough patches.  You might well say that in the end I came upon the family I deserved.

My dears, the road taken never looked brighter.

ANOTHER FART TALE

To hear some friends tell it, the old geezer has been known to clear a room with gas...

Truth be told, unless the gas is really pressing, not smelling makes it a bit hard to know.

I know, it must be a Brit thing, this love of "fart" humour, but it does give me the giggles.  Mind, it could be gas.............

IT IS THE LIVING OF AND NOT THE LENGTH OF LIFE THAT MATTERS

Life is a characteristic that distinguishes objects that have signaling and self-sustaining processes from those that do not, either because such functions have ceased , or else because they lack such functions and are classified as inanimate.

My dears, always remember that whatever lands on the pages of this blog are but the thoughts of this old geezer.  It is not the 'burning bush' and like most opinions, clearly open to folks tossing off as the rants of a mad diarist.  Am compelled to mention this, as from time to time the mail received from one of me post makes for interesting reading.  After the thought is tossed out there, many land on it and give me the piss for having put it down in print.

Having had a 'near death' experience, this old geezer is well aware of just how fragile the hold on life is.  In a tick it can be gone.  With loss of life comes the after, being worm food.

Truth be told, the life lived has not been with out challenges.  Come to think on, which life has not been without challenges?  Part of the journey requires one to pick up a little dirt along the path, even some cuts from a few falls.  The real thrill is picking one's self up and walking on.

Right, so I have beat up on a few souls of late.  Did it go unnoticed that this old geezer has received his share of knocks as well?  Mind, it many seem a little cheesey to tell the whole world of trials, but then that is what I do.  Share.

Being brassed off at the turn of events of late means that one has to vent.  This old geezer used this forum to do that.

Friends have been made, perhaps not so good of mates as one would like, but you learn to work with what life tosses at you.  With a little effort it was possible to get more folks to begin to enjoy their community and not hide inside flats and let life pass by.  That is a thrilling part of being able to reach out and touch others.  It is all about the touching...

Many will think me a quitter.  Cut and run when the cards do not fall where one would like.  Rubbish.

I have fought long and hard to make a difference.  Truth be told, a major difference has been achieved in a rather short time.  The difference in being a quitter and a realist is one knows when there is no point in fighting a battle that is not well supplied.   Am not keen on driving self into ground due to lack of support.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and for the past 5 months MOI has heard many a good intention come off the lips of one who should be fighting the hardest to save this patch of earth.  For some odd reason there always seems to be an excuse for not following through.


Que Sera, Sera,

Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Truth be told, lacking the gift of sight makes this old geezer stand in the queue and wait with the rest to see what will unfold.