BIRTHDAYS BOTHER SOME

I get uncomfortable when people give me presents and watch me open them. I don't have birthday parties, because the idea of a group of people singing and looking at me while I'm blowing out candles gives me hives.

Truth be told, the above thoughts do not apply to the old geezer.  I start my campaign months before the big event to ensure that there will be loot on my big day.

I have a very dear mate who will be celebrating his birthday on Monday.  He would rather ignore the event.  Not bloody likely with the likes of me around.  

SUSAN BOYLE CONCERT THOUGHTS

 To my mind, Susan Boyle is best remembered as a plain ordinary older woman who surprised people with her voice.  Will forever remember her as she appeared on the talent show in the UK.  I beleive that was her charm and the reason she captured the imagination of the world.

Susan Boyle dressed up in outfits that clearly do not work miss the mark.  It just does not look like Susan Boyle.

I received loads of emails from folks who felt I was down on Susan.  I am not.  I just Susan to 'knock my socks off', 'rock the house'.  My view is that she did not do that in San Francisco.

Years ago I remember going to a Barbara Cook concert.  Barbara Cook had been a Broadway star.  She was a pretty little thing.  Over the years, Barbara put on a massive amount of weight.  She was massive.  But she still sang like a bird.

Her concert was her solo on stage with only a pianist.  No fancy lights and no drama.  Just Barbara doing her thing.

What stage presence.  She worked the audience like a champ.  She knew the audience loved her and she wanted the audience to feel her love for them.  She gave several WOW moment and made the audience beg for more.

I left that concert more in love with Barbara Cook than ever.  Every time I played one of her albums, I relived that evening at the concert.  The warm feeling I had stayed with me.  Does to this day.

Susan Boyle walked out onto the talent show stage in UK and changed her life.  She WOWED the whole world.  I know she has it in her.  Just not going to happen with this tour of America.

'AMOUR DE LA VIE'

'Amour de la vie' as the French would say. When this old geezer filmed the above bit for YOUTUBE, life was going grand.  There was no hint that much would change in the coming months and years.

Received a post the other day from one who has followed this blog for many months and they wanted to remind MOI of what was felt in the past.  Sort of a wake up call from a lovely reader.  I watched this and felt that all put forth was still valid.  I did indeed feel that life was worth the effort, regardless of what may come.

From where I sit, I rather think that most will agree that my return to this public diary confirms the view held by this old geezer that there is a brighter light round of late.  Mind, am still sorting out the clouds that passed over and making an effort to gain a better insight into why my soul felt so damaged.  I tend to think it stems mostly from my not doing 'alone' well.

I have shared with you in the past that I am a most private person.  Mind, that seems to be strange as I am so open, what with this blog, filmed bits on the Internet and a very public campaign to change the wicked behaviour of some folks.  Truth be told, it is a struggle at times for me to deal with.

I am a contradiction...

Without reservation I can tell you, the dear reader, that events of late have made me more aware of just how wondrous life is.  People, places and things still gobsmack me.  I would like to believe that that will continue to be the case.  Were it not so, what would be the challenge?

Life is not fair, not all we want comes our way but in the end, I do truly believe that we get all that we deserve in life, and then some.  The trick is to keep hanging on.  One never knows what is round the next bend in the path of life.  Ending the journey, either by stopping in one place or just giving up will leave much not discovered.

I do not like all met.  Who does?  I do try to give fair play to what they have to say.  Some fall short.  I do not suffer fools easily.  Truth be told, there are some who do not view this old geezer fondly either.  Fair enough.

'We mourn the dead but few mourn the living dead,'

'I am all alone and don’t seek human help. I still don’t know why I was born, I have this impression that I was just a prop, moved from place to place, whenever it was needed,' she said. 'Living alone, abandoned by the humans and judged often as an old nitwit, I have experienced moments of miracles and ingenuity.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2726565/Old-age-curse-I-feel-like-half-dried-rug-purpose-rung-Heartbreaking-words-woman-outlived-loved-ones-lost-zest-life-dying-kitchen-floor.html#ixzz3AaGaO5jo
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'I WANT TO BE ALONE'

Never let it be said that the old geezer does not 'get it' when it comes to the 'wanting to be alone' mood.

Spent a lifetime pushing folks away and running off some who dared to get too close.  I am an expert at killing off friendship.

Yesterday I experienced something that made me realize I had been too busy beating my own drum and hearing the tune coming from someone close to.  You might even say BFF.

Having gone to supper, we found ourselves parked outside my home.  The music was playing and I was enjoying chatting with me friend.  My friend saw it differently.

"Do you not think it strange that we are sitting in a parked vehicle?".  So uneasy was me friend that he suggested that we exit the vehicle and chat in the car park.  Like a bolt from above, it came to me what the real problem was.

"Intimacy" is a dirty word to my friend.  Truth be told, 'relationship' does not do much better.

I should have listened better to me friend in the past.  Were it up to him, a cave in the middle of nowhere, visited by no one, would be the perfect place.  Most of what my friend does on a daily basis is 'alone'.  Let me be clear, it is his choice.

There have been periods in my life that were dark and lonely.  I did everything in my power to keep people out of my life.  If you give nothing of yourself to others, they can never hurt you.  Truth be told, I never really wanted to be alone, just was so very afraid to let any one in.

I have let some in.  The periods spent sharing with someone else are some of the best periods of my life.  I do not do 'single' well.  I crave people in my life.  Tend to think I am best when I get out of meself and live life through different eyes.

I have been told that I come on too strong.  Quite right.  I am trying to make up for lost time.

I understand my friend perfectly.  I really do.

I also know how to shut people out completely.  I did that with my half brother and sister.  There was no room for me and I did not want to accept 'conditional' relationship.

However much I love my friend, he has the right to live on his own terms.  If being 'alone' suits him, why push for change.  That bench in the forest can be his alone.

There is a lot of love left in me and life is too short to offer it where it is not wanted.

Funny thing about life, one door closes and another one opens.....