GIFT OF TIME IS PRICELESS

You, who are 'au fait' with the postings of the old geezer, know that MOI thinks a great deal...

Last night, as I drifted off to sleep, the thought of 'time' came to me.  The idea of how it was spent and what it meant at the end of the day.

Having buckets of 'time' I try to share it with the folks cared about.

Truth be told, the old geezer feels he shares and spends 'time well.  Mind, there are some known to who seem to do a superior job of it.  Like the old lady met in Atlanta years ago.  She was living in a retirement home and spent loads of time reading stories to children.  So much time, she was called the 'Story Book Lady'.  She wanted to feel connected and felt this was something she could do, enriching her life and the lives of others.

Time is the one gift that I can give daily.  Makes me feel warm and fuzzy when I bring smiles to faces of folks known and newly met.  Right, sometimes me sharp tongue is not appreciated but that is a character flaw I am working on...

Just love to hear Patty and Alan roar with laughter at something said.  Am quite partial to hitting the mark in a post and receiving emails from folks who have been touched.

WALK INTO THE LIGHT

Did I ever mention that there are periods that 'the black dog' barks loudly for the old geezer.  Like Churchill, I am visited by bouts of depression.  The depression came come upon quite suddenly.  Like a fog, it deepens.

I am in such a period now.

Lucky for me, I have years of experience dealing with the 'black dog' and have learned a trick or two to deal with.  Talking out my feeling with a trusted friend is an enormous help.  Placing meself in a state of calm is important as well.

However dark the hour may seems, I know that I have to walk into the light.  Truth be told, I have to hold onto the belief that 'tomorrow, will be a better day'.....

'I WANT TO BE ALONE'

Never let it be said that the old geezer does not 'get it' when it comes to the 'wanting to be alone' mood.

Spent a lifetime pushing folks away and running off some who dared to get too close.  I am an expert at killing off friendship.

Yesterday I experienced something that made me realize I had been too busy beating my own drum and hearing the tune coming from someone close to.  You might even say BFF.

Having gone to supper, we found ourselves parked outside my home.  The music was playing and I was enjoying chatting with me friend.  My friend saw it differently.

"Do you not think it strange that we are sitting in a parked vehicle?".  So uneasy was me friend that he suggested that we exit the vehicle and chat in the car park.  Like a bolt from above, it came to me what the real problem was.

"Intimacy" is a dirty word to my friend.  Truth be told, 'relationship' does not do much better.

I should have listened better to me friend in the past.  Were it up to him, a cave in the middle of nowhere, visited by no one, would be the perfect place.  Most of what my friend does on a daily basis is 'alone'.  Let me be clear, it is his choice.

There have been periods in my life that were dark and lonely.  I did everything in my power to keep people out of my life.  If you give nothing of yourself to others, they can never hurt you.  Truth be told, I never really wanted to be alone, just was so very afraid to let any one in.

I have let some in.  The periods spent sharing with someone else are some of the best periods of my life.  I do not do 'single' well.  I crave people in my life.  Tend to think I am best when I get out of meself and live life through different eyes.

I have been told that I come on too strong.  Quite right.  I am trying to make up for lost time.

I understand my friend perfectly.  I really do.

I also know how to shut people out completely.  I did that with my half brother and sister.  There was no room for me and I did not want to accept 'conditional' relationship.

However much I love my friend, he has the right to live on his own terms.  If being 'alone' suits him, why push for change.  That bench in the forest can be his alone.

There is a lot of love left in me and life is too short to offer it where it is not wanted.

Funny thing about life, one door closes and another one opens.....