I AM NOT DEAD YET

Robert is getting old, really OLD

A former Obama health policy adviser has insisted he wants to be dead by his 75th birthday as the elderly are 'feeble, ineffectual and pathetic.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2766713/I-hope-die-75-Prominent-doctor-Obama-s-former-health-policy-adviser-hits-misguided-desperation-endlessly-extend-life.html#ixzz3EAkdlsoV
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I want to be that nasty old bugger who lives forever.  What do I care if I can not walk, hear or control bladder......

66 REASONS TO BE HAPPY

 I will tell true, the warm glow of me birthday is still about me.  66 may not be as ancient an age as some, but it is an age that was in doubt of achieving.  Turn the numbers up side down and it may well come to pass that the old geezer will be still pounding on his keyboard at age 99.  Now that is a scary thought...

While it may be true that the old geezer is not the handsome devil he once was, there is still much to admire in the looks department.  Life has been kind, the signs of age are gentle...

 I am gobsmacked at how well folks knew me and gifted with things that were a joy to receive.  Not a bad gift in the lot.  I am deeply touched by the Hawaiian quilt received from a lovely lady.  That she made the quilt with me in mind is ever so touching.  I also received a plant from another lovely lady.  The sort of plant I so love.

 Who knew that 66 was going to be so grand?  Just think what would have been missed if the old geezer had given up.

 I am so blessed that my jar is too full to close.

I will have to ponder the gift of 2 dollar bills received.

I wonder if I can bottle the feelings of the last day.  Like a bottle of very expensive cologne, one can dap a little on self in the days ahead and recapture the high...

"MY NAME IS ROB DEFREES, AND I AM HERE TO RECRUIT YOU"

"WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING DESPERATELY, THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CONSPIRES TO MAKE IT HAPPEN"


The path of life is not easy, there are rocks in the road, and from time to time mis-steps, causing one to fall down.  The trick is to pick self up, dust off and continue to walk down the path.  Life is not easy and doubt that it was ever meant to be fair.  There are some who have much and there are others that have nothing.  Some will strive to lead good lives and others will do evil.  There will be many who will stand on the side-lines of life and mock the few who try to make a difference.  My dears, that is the way of it.  Get over it and move on.

No amount of story telling on the part of this old geezer will truly convince some that past life was not 'to the manor borne', that there were trials endured and challenges not met.  It is convenient for some to think that label on tin viewed says it all and whatever this old geezer has to say is of no import.  Having heard all of the names called and the mean view that what is tried is for self-aggrandizement, MOI can tell you true that having lived in own skin for going on 66 years, naught would be gained to lie to self and pretend to be more than am.

I am not a perfect person.  I want passionately to believe that all are capable of change.  That what is, does not have to be, the future can be made more brilliant for self and others round.  I do not do drugs or go out and do crimes.  Truth be told, am gobsmacked at how many do not see the evil that drugs is and how it destroys all it touches.  I want finer things in life, love a good wine, travel, films, theatre and comfy home.  Right odd that folks feel so down on selves that a small benefits check makes them happy.  How can any one truly know how to live if the act of survival is all consuming?

All things start from one point, the actions of one person.  The trick is to get others to buy into your message and join forces in making a difference.  In that, this old geezer has been most fortunate.

Faithful readers of me blog are 'au fait' with me hatred of drugs.  Seems that the abuse of drugs is everywhere.  Even some folks friendly with, abuse drugs.  Am every so thankful that drugs have never been a problem for.

What is most rewarding to me, is to know that people do listen.  A dear friend knows that drinking self to death is not cool.  He has not stopped, but the amount of alcohol drank has slowed.  Little by little, the drink may well become less important.  In the meantime, this person is still me mate, and I will not give up on him.

Hard as it may be for some to believe, the old geezer is a most privater person.  Truly...

I share, but only that which I am prepared to.  Very few folks know all there is to know about MOI.

I have so many stories told to, oft wonder how it is that folks tell the old geezer so much.  Might well be that no one else has taken the time to listen to them before.  Every time am told something very private, it makes me realize that my own life has not been so bad.  Am gobsmacked at how hurt some known have been.

It strikes me that the cause for my concern for folks liked, stems from the lack of experienced growing up.  Without really telling out loud, made it me mission in life to never not ignore the events happening round.  There be some who feel that my opinions are 'cold' but I still feel it important to tell.

Truth be told, my life has been changed in so many ways by the actions of others.  Some for the good and some for not so good.

At the end of the day, that may well be why we are all here.  To help one another, create change and do little harm.



"IF YOU CHANGE LIFE IN ONE WAY, YOU CHANGE IT IN OTHER WAYS"

DO YOU SEE YOU IN LOOKING GLASS?

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you a king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what THAT man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Who judgment upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum

If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,

And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the ~an in the the glass is your friend .
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,

But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.

Each morn, this old geezer looks into the looking glass and sees quite clearly who he be.

Passing years has taken much of the brilliance of youth away but have not washed away me inner
person.  That person, inside of me skin, is no stranger to MOI.  After much reflection, I am much pleased
with who stares back at in the wee hours of morn.  He is a keeper...

WHERE DID MY YOUTH GO?

This old geezer remembers well the Days of Disco. Been told I was quite the dancer.  Fancy that...

I do not long for the feel  of polyester or to stomp round in platform shoes, just would love to be able to more more.  Actually had a pair of boots in Paris that were quite daring.  Along with the tight trousers and very floral shirt, this old geezer must have been quite the sight.  Mind, I seem to recall that all of the chaps were dressed like.

How does the song go?  'Thoes were the days, my friend.  We thought they would never end.'


It can not be that MOI is the only one who recalls these things?

YEAR END CLEARANCE

Here it is, the year end rant of the old geezer.  What would this blog be if not for the words of wisdom given...

Right, so this old geezer will try to sum up the many lessons learned in the past year.  As if it will set the world on fire.  Mind, it might make for interesting reading.

Whatever 2013 was, it was another year with many blessings and another good reason to have been round to see.  There was a time the old geezer gave thought to depleting the population by one, but came to realize that it would rob me of the chance to see what was round the next corner.

After a lifetime of questioning who I was and where I came from and where I was going, it all seem to come together this past year.  I made a few steps in the wrong direction but always headed back to where I was running from.  I used to think that that distance could protect me self from the past.  Funny thing id that you can never run fast enough to get out of your own skin.  The past is part of who I am and after much therapy, I have long last come to live with the past.  The past can not hurt me anymore.

Much of what I learned this past year is due to my listening to the stories of the people met.  My life is no different than many met who struggle with illness, disappointment and miss opportunities.  Many of the folks met have had to lead double lives.  Hiding a part of selves they were afraid to reveal.  For the first time in many a years, I really listened to the stories.  It changed me.

However hard life has been, there is no difference in my life and so many others.  Truth be told, 2013 was not a bad year.

I have people in my life who like me and care about me.  That is a really big deal.  Me being unwilling to let folks get close.  After 26 years, I am willing to let folks get very close.  I rather think John would be proud of that.

I have LIVED.  Have the dirt clinging to and the bruises to prove.  That is the whole point.  Life may not have been what I hoped for but it was pretty much of my own making.  2013 was a time for me to take stock and begin to enjoy the years to come.  Accept the 'family' I have built and let the 'family' that never was go.  Accept that I am OK and going to continue to improve with age.

There you have it.  I am happy that 2013 is ending on positive note for me.  I am really looking toward the new year with high hopes.  Eager to listen to more of the stories from the folks I care about.

WE CAN NOT LET JAMES DIE

After weeks in hospital with a painfully swollen leg, my friend James is once again back out on the street, in a wheelchair and a whole lot worse for wear.

Loaded up with pain killers, medicine to fight infection and his blood pressure medication, James is finding it more and more difficult to get around and to find a comfortable spot on the bus stop bench to try and rest.  Truth be told, James is looking more fragile than ever.

The old geezer spent hours on Saturday trying to convince James that he needs to get into some sort of programme and end his life on the street.  He is now more at risk than ever before.  My fear is that James will die on that bench and no one will discover him until he has grown cold.

Whatever the mental condition of James, he is not an alcoholic or a drug abuser.  James' biggest problem is that he believes that he needs to care for another homeless person and if he leves the street, this homeless person will do himself in.  Fact of the matter is, this younger homeless person has tried to kill himself before, latest time was before Christmas last, almost did it, but lived and spent 40 days in hospital coming back from the grave.

James needs help now.  James is 70 years old and quickly sliding deeper and deeper into a high risk situation that could cause him to die.  The swollen leg is not improving.

This day, the old geezer stripped off the old bandage and applied lotion to the leg.  Peeled off lots of dead skin and re-applied a bandage to the leg.  Got James to take all of his medicine and made sure he had water and something to eat.

James promised that he would get to a store and purchase some socks for his feet, get some sort of footwear and other items he needs to cover some of his medical problems.  Like adult diapers.  James can not always get to a toilet and the diapers help him cope.

James is in need of some sort of respite, he can not continue to do without sleep and proper care.  James knows that my good friend Marc Alexander, with IHS, is aware of his condition and willing to work with him to get him some sort of help.  James is also aware that I have made Care-A-Van aware of his condition.  James is leary of authority, afraid to be placed in a situation where is is unable to get about.  However strong his dislike of authority, James is also aware that he can not continue as he is.  That the situation of his caring for another homeless person is not healthy for him.

If I have learned anything in doing good deeds, it is that you can not help everyone.  Some homeless are not reachable.  You have to try with the ones you feel can still be reached.  I believe James is still reachable, it will not be easy, but it can still be possible for James to become more safe than he is at present.

I am going to forward this post to Marc Alexander at IHS.  I am going to forward this post to Care-A-Van.  I will also forward this post to any number of other folks who do outreach to the homeless.  I will be padantic with members of the local newspaper and the mayor and a state senator.  This post will find its way to two sites that deal with the homeless condition.

I can not save the world.  I can stop and take the time to help one person, hoping that one person will find relief from suffering.  James is my friend.  James is also my responsibility as a member of society, the same society I am a part of.  His life matters.

I AM NOT DEAD YET

Robert enjoys birthday dinner

Right, the College of Cardinals did not see fit to elect me the new pope.  I rather thought I would have looked quite grand in red loafers...

The election of Pope Francis was not the only highlight of March.  March is also the birth month of the old geezer.

The year of my birth, March 28th was also Easter.  That could explain much about my life.  I have done a lot of hops during my time on earth.

My special day was very special.  It started with MOI being taken to breakfast by a lovely friend.  We went to Denny's.  Why Denny's?  Because they still give you a FREE breakfast on your birthday and the old geezer did not want his friend to go broke doing breakfast.  Mind, that did not stop MOI from ordering a massive glass of orange juice, which was not included in the FREE breakfast.  It is always a pleasure to share a meal with my good friend James.

The post had delivered a very nice card from dear friends living in Reno, along with a bit of cash.  Always lovely to get cash.  Alan and Paul are ever so nice to the old geezer and it is comforting to know that the long distance has not dampened our friendship.

Friends from round the globe went messages to email and there were lovely comments left on my Facebook page.

During the day of my birthday, Ron, who I share digs with in Honolulu and is a long time friend, had placed a brightly coloured package out for me to find and open.  Was gobsmacked to receive a rather nice personal DVD machine to play films on.  Due to hearing loss, is nice to be able to play the sound at a very high level without bothering anyone else.

Since the old geezer does not eat cake anymore, Ron thought cupcakes would work well.  Gave me the opportunity to share my birthday cake with one and all.  Ron is ever so clever, he thought that since my birthday had fallen on Easter, the yearn born, cupcakes with Easter themed frosting would be quite nice.  The were ever so colourful and all who got them thought they were very tasty.

I also got a bottle of gin.  Boodles, very British...

The day ended with a new found friend taking the old geezer to dinner at the Waikiki Beach Hotel.  There is a restaurant there that feature a three story aquarium, with a mermaid and loads of very colourful fish.

The main draw at the restaurant, besides the massive fish tank, is a buffet.  Regular Babette's Feast it is.  There is quite the selection of food.  Crab legs, three different kind, seem to be the bit hit.  There is also Prime Rib, chicken, pork, pasta, endless salads, fruits, and impressive selection of deserts.

MOI was quite careful in eating, as you can see from the plate in the photo.  Mind, the old geezer did taste quite a few items, but really hit the salads and fruits.  OK, so I might have had a little Prime Rib and past, but it was my birthday.

The host of the dinner party treated to the massive drink you see.  Have to see it when first placed before, when the dry ice is causing it to look like a volcano.  Lovely.  Also had a massive dink in a tumbler called a Tropical Itch.  Comes with a back scratcher...

Needless to say, the old geezer was full of good cheer at the end of the day...

What yesterday made me realize is that life is never over or dull.  There is so much to enjoy.  To be thankful for.

To one and all who made my special day so very special,  my most heartfelt thanks.

TRUTH COMES OUT

"Is Robert moving back to Hawaii or entering a nursing home? Not that I care....I just hope if he's planning on doing himself in, that he doesn't make a mess at the house. Honestly, if I couldn't taste food, had health problems, couldn't hear, had  no friends and hadn't had any sex in a dozen years, I wouldn't have much of a reason to go on. Don't tell him I said that. His life is my worst nightmare."

Just had to share this email with you.  Knew when had the stroke that former 'friend' could not wait for my departure from his home.

Mind, the old geezer is very much alive and coping rather nicely with new situation in life.

In other emails, the old geezer being 'FAT' and liking his ciggies are two more reasons not to like the old geezer.  Fancy that...

All this from an ageing homosexual who is despersate to stop the clock from showing his own slide into 'old age'.  Guess if one has buckets of cash to spend on 'face work' and endless supply of cheap wine, others do not matter.

'OLD GEEZER' IS REDUNDANT - INDEED!!!

'You do know, Rob, that "old geezer" is redundant.'

This missive landed in me email box the other day and it got me to thinking, and you who be 'au fait' with the old geezer know how dangerous that be.

Truth be told, the comment made is not the first time that folks have taken umbrage with me use of 'old geezer', and no doubt will not be the last.  Ranks right up there with 'MOI' that seems to set folks off.  But let us have some fun with this...

There is another chap known to the old geezer who just comes apart everytime he hears 'old geezer'.  He loathes it so much that he has to make a comment every time.  Mind, being that the chap in question is self an 'old geezer', he is over 60, he just does not want to be reminded of age.  You know the sort of chap, he uses 'hair colouring for MEN, has gone under the knife to have face work done, and has had multiple BOTOX treatments.

My dears, MOI is in on the trick, and it would seem that many others are as well.  Bugger that the NY TIMES defines 'old geezer' as redundant.  There are plenty of other sources that seem to accept 'old geezer' as a valid usage.

Searching the INTERNET found the three images above, but there are many more than just the three featured.

No doubt there will be some who wonder how I replied to the email received that brought on this post...

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.