Merrie Monarch Parade

Merrie Monarch Parade as it passes in front of the Hilo Bay Hostel.

CHEAP SEATS AT THE CINEMA

The Kress Cinema is a theatre that runs films that have already shown in the first-run theaters and presented at a lower ticket price. (These are sometimes known as dollar  theatre or "Cheap Seats".) This form of cinema is diminishing in viability owing to the increasingly shortened intervals before the films' home video release.  Mind, the admission is not a dollar but $1.50 ( who is complaining) still bloody cheap in these mean times.

As if watching hours of The Royal Wedding on the telly was not enough drama for the week, this old geezer had to spend a few hours in the dark watching another British drama, The King's Speech, winner of awards this year.

Last night it was all about two members of the Royal Family getting married, keeping the line going for the current branch of the Royal Family.  Today was going back in time to the days of George VI, the chap who made last night happen for the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge.  The family is not without its ups and downs.

Truth be told, watching the wedding was a bit boring, even for a rabid anglophile such as this old geezer.  It was no chore to watch the film on a period in the life of George VI.  The acting was superior and I rather like period pieces, the late 30's being one of me favoured periods.

For my birthday this year, MOI received a packet of tickets to the cinema from 'Sonny & Cher'.  I do so love going to see a film on the cheap...

I must remember in future that the air is quite cold in the cinema, nearly froze...

DAME EDITH HITS 70

It has been said that this old geezer has a knack for collecting 'colourful' folks about.

It has been my good fortune to know 'Ron' for going on twenty years.  He has lived in and operated an apartment complex in the heart of Waikiki the whole time known.  Unlike MOI,  who has collected much dust upon slippers, Ron is quite content to be the last truly 'unique' personages left of what was the old 'Kuhio District'.

Gobsmacked this old geezer be to discover that 70 years of living have passed for Ron.  When last visited, Ron did not look a day over 67...

Much like Miss Taylor, it is rumoured that Ron intends to show up at his party 15 minutes late, very much alive one hopes...

Ron certainly dances to his own tune and does not seem to mind that there be some who do not quite know how to take his personality.  Truth be told, this old geezer has always appreciated his directness.  One always knew exactly what was on his mind and where one stood in the order of things.

Far be it for MOI to question Ron's dressing up for his birthday.  Mind, if the old geezer could pass off as 'Dame Edith' it might well be considered, but am of the opinion it would be a fright to see the old geezer in a frock.

The last time Ron was seen in 'drag'was at 'Hula's' better than 15 years ago.  That was the same year that the old geezer was talked into wearing a devil costume.  Truth be told, Ron had a costume shoppe and was clever enough to get MOI to splash out on a costume that was not in demand that year.  On top of which, it was suggested that one needed to make face red to go with costume.  Any idea how hard it is to remove red lipstick from face, neck and ears?

I will be stuck in Hilo for the party and will have to wait until next in Honolulu to hear how it went.

I will stick a candle, left over from me birthday, in a biscuit and wish the old geezer well...

Te Tu Mataora Merrie Monarch 2011

Small World

Before the arrival of the Maori group booked into the hostel, this old geezer trolled the INTERNET to find a filmed bit to give folks a taste of what they might be like.  What was found was a filmed bit from 5 years ago that was best to be seen.  Placing it up on the blog, it got massive number of hits.  Little did I know what was to follow.

When the group arrived, this old geezer told of having a blog, there is no end to the shameless self promoting of me blog, and that a filmed bit had been put up.  Viewing the filmed bit got members of the group to exclaim excitedly to one another, as it seems members featured in the filmed bit were currently staying at the hostel.  Fancy that...

The brilliant chap featured in the above snap is named Peter, son of Bernie.  He be the rather menacing chap in second row of filmed bit.  In filmed bit he seemed quite aggressive, but in truth, he is quite nice.  The sort one would enjoy having a lovely cuppa with...

FREE is Good

This old geezer is tight with a quid.  Folks 'au fait' with the old geezer,  have known that for years.

Living in Hawaii is dear.  One has to be constantly on look out for a deal.  One of the best deals local is the use of customer loyalty cards.  There is the 'Kamaaina Rewards', the 'Maiki' and the hostel's very own VIP card.  The point of each is to reward loyal customers.  Clever.

Each morn, the old geezer takes to the road to visit local petrol station for a brilliant cup of coffee.  More than that, it is to see if visit will be rewarded.

Just the other day, the old geezer hit pay dirt.  Mind, MOI wins quite oft, but this day was special.  The coffee was FREE, and the receipt given had a reward of a FREE Gourmet Lollipop.  Taking the reward produced another receipt with another winner.  This time it was a FREE chocolate bar.  Over the moon this old geezer was.  Getting the FREE chocolate bar produced another receipt and yet another winner.  This time it was for a FREE hot dog. Gobsmacked the old geezer was...

The old geezer does not do chocolate but passes on the FREE bars won to the Big Kahuna.  With he being in OZ, there will be many awaiting.

I rather think the old geezer will be going back, and back and back...

LOST INVITE DOES NOT DAMPEN HIGH SPIRITS

Buck House informed this old geezer that invite to the wedding of Prince William & Catherine Middleton had been posted in the Royal Mail bin, it must have been the fault of the colonial post that it did not arrive in time to take place in pew.  Insult was further added when 'Dickie' Branson informed this old geezer that his place in 'Upper Class' on flight to London had been given away to 'Price' and her new boy toy.

Gutted though this old geezer be, life does go on and one learns to adapt...

Mind, one is ever so gutted not to be able to rub shoulders with Becks, Mr. Bean and to follow up on the latest details of Sir Elton's life.  Her Majesty, The Queen, informs this old geezer that she will save a slice of cake to present to when next in London.  I do so enjoy having tea at Buck House.

What to do?  Being stuck out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and 11 hours behind London Time, this old geezer had to come up with a plan.

The Big Kahuna is away in OZ, leaving his suite free.  The draw of the unoccupied suite is the massive flat screen telly hanging from the wall.  HD even.  With the offer to get comfy there, this old geezer had a plan.

Given the time difference, the Royal Wedding will unfold round 9pm, local time, on April 28th.

Not wanting to share the excitement of the wedding with the 'hoi polloi', this old geezer has laid in a smart little feast for the grand event.  Beverage will be a bottle of the finest 'diet' soft drink.  Canapes will be Spam on toast and lovely small crackers topped with 'CheeseWiz'.  For a rare treat, a package of 'Ding Dongs' will serve as me cake...

I have no doubt that every moment of the wedding will be massively enjoyed...

Te Tu Mataora Makes Perfect in Kalakaua Park

Getting ready to 'break a leg' at Opening Night of Merrie Monarch.

'Te Tu Mataora' Seranade Kalakaua Park in Hilo

Maori group gives a tease of things to be seen and heard at opening of Merrie Monarch - Celebration of Hula - starting tonight.


How many of you have such song in your back garden?

'Te Tu Mataora' - Hilo practice in Kalakaua Park

Maori group readies for big night, they are closing act for Opening Night of Merrie Monarch.


Kalakaua Park is next to hostel and group took to green to practice for performance

'Te Tu Mataora' Rocks UH

The brilliant Maori group staying at hostel have been sharing their special performance with folks round the Big Island. Right busy schedule they have...

A small portion of the legend performance to come at the opening of Merrie Monarch. 'Te Tu Mataora' is the closing act for. Rumour has it that the queue will be long for the FREE seats.

'MERRIE MONARCH'

Today is the start of 'Merrie Monarch', a celebration of hula, in Hilo, Hawaii.  Truth be told, local, it is a very big deal.  Locals look forward to with much an anticipation, and businesses see it as 'Christmas' in April.

Truth be told, this old geezer is not a huge fan of hula, a little goes a long way.  Add to that the crowds and hard seating and it is not something MOI would look forward to with undiluted pleasure.  Wicked of me, but quite true.  There is always the telly to view it on.

Fortunately for this old geezer, the very best seat in the house is already had.

The 'Te Tu Mataora' Maori group from New Zealand is booked in at the hostel for the entire celebration.  What luck to be able to experience the uniqueness of the group and the meaning of hula through their eyes and experiences.

Wednesday is 'Opening Night', being that it is FREE, folks will queue up early to get the best seating.

'Te Tu Mataora' is the closing act for the night and they tell this old geezer that they will have over an hour of stage time to perform.

The Maori group hails from Aotearoa, also known as New Zealand.   The Maori group is much family oriented, with strong beliefs and desires to 'preserve and maintain' their treasures that have been left to by ancestors. 56 member strong, including performers, children and elders.

I have no doubt that the 'Te Tu Mataora' will 'rock the house...

SHERIFF DURFOR - MY FRIEND

Recently, this old geezer found self thinking of a rather brilliant personage known.  More than being brilliant, the person thought of, is also a friend.  The rare breed of friend that is there through good times and bad.

I am speaking of Sheriff Steve Durfor.

That is not to say that we got on like a house on fire when first met.  Truth be told, this old geezer is a bit much at times.  Guilty of hubris he be.  Feeling ill-served by the coppers and their leader, the old geezer took pen and hand and fired off a mean letter to.  That is not to say that the letter was not heart felt.  Much bad feeling was poured out and it was thought that the old geezer had set fire to another bridge in community lived.

To his credit, Sheriff Durfor came out and met the old geezer, spent time listening to and trying to sort out just what was needed and how his department had been so mis-understood.  Steve listened hard and it was quite clear that he was not going to blow smoke up me arse and leave.

I no longer live in the community that Sheriff Durfor 'serves and protects', telling the whole world of him is not a suck up, as there is nothing to gain from.  Not bloody likely that the old geezer will be in the nick any time soon.  When the old geezer left the community, Sheriff Durfor continued to write to and asked to be kept in the loop with me blog.  What a lovely man.

To prove point, there follows the letter that the old geezer sent to Steve.


Dear Steve,
Weekend past I directed another massive cleanup at the Linda Villa on Park Avenue in the community of Linda.  Hired help, neighbours and wee ones helped to cut grass, whack weeds and collect rubbish.  What a lot or work and how much more improved it makes the complex.
Bin bags were filled with the rubbish hurled about the complex by not so nice neighbours on the other side of fence next to.  Much rubbish was picked up on road and in the drive way of the complex, tossed there by folks who do not care what the community looks like.
The truly horrid part of the task was having to pick up tossed dope bags, spent needles, broken crack pipes and blackened spoons hurled with no concern for the safety of the wee one who will pass by and might be harmed by.  Silly MOI, did I say 'dope bags'?  Lacking an education is such things, the wee bags might have been used to hold a sweet for on cared for.  Spend needles, how unkind, they surely were used by a neighbourhood diabetic who must take insulin to save life.  Crack Pipes?  Silly of MOI, they were broken 'bubble blowers'.   As to the blackened spoons found tossed, surely they were dropped by a homeless person visiting from the riverbed.
While so many were working round the property, the traffic to a certain unit never let up.  Right odd to see folks pull up, get cash ready, get out of vehicle, count one more time on way to unit and then stay but a tick and then leave.  This was seen three times.  Mind the traffic continues all of the day.
Silly old geezer I be.  What I know and what can be proved are two different things.  Coppers who have visited the property in the past tell that all of the evil that exists to plague the Linda Villa is 'civil' in nature and they, 'the coppers', can not and will not do anything to help solve.  Coppers who wear a mask of indifference and scorn when they come to answer a call for help.  I have complained about this in past and am told it will be looked into.  Right, and the 'great flood' may soon come.
There was to be a massive party at the Linda Villa, to celebrate the re-birth of Civic Pride on road, at complex and in the community.  That party is not going to happen any times soon.  There are still evil creatures who destroy the 'quality of life' on road, in complex and MOI has no desire to provide food, drink and fun for evil creatures, be they adult or wee ones.
I will not lie.  The Linda Villa on Park Avenue in the community of Linda may well not be the most horrid part of the community your coppers patrol.  Your palace guard can provide you with charts that show that there be other roads worse.  That may be.  I do not care about other roads, I care about the road my neighbours live on.  Neighbours who have proved that they want to do things different.  Mind, the push is on to save 'CCC' and the whole world knows that the evil creature control life there and will continue to forever as the folks round do not care enough to be pro-active in the fight to saves selves.
When calls are made to complain about the dumping of vehicles on property, one can almost hear the paint dry for the lack of answers provided by your coppers on patrol.  "It is civil", "Private Property".  Matters not that the dumped vehicles are years out of date on tags.  Why bother calling?
Steve, to my mind the great failing of your administration has been your inability to place the fire in the belly of your coppers to help a community save itself.  Right, there are a few brilliant examples, but in the main, your coppers want the rush of the 'big bust' and care less about crime prevention.  They do no see how evil the 'nickel and dime' dealer is, or that the granny selling medications destroys lives as well.   No amount of banging on about traffic or evil creatures hanging about gets much help.
I am unabashed supporter of coppers.  That does not mean that I wear rose-coloured glasses in viewing how coppers perform duties.  Making friends with the community patrolled does not seem to be in high order.  More's the pity that, as without the support of the community, the coppers can not do their sworn duty.
With friends like some of your coppers, who needs enemies??  It almost is not worth the effort to report on-going problems as they will not be dealt with by the coppers on patrol.  They will wait until things boil over, they there is a 'real' crime to deal with.  I just hope that if the evil creature have their way with MOI and am done in, your coppers will treat my dead body with more respect than they did my living one.
With not much help from your coppers or you personally, we will continue to try and make a difference on Park and in community round.  Like one of your less than brilliant coppers told; "You have to do these things yourself".
I have used "Steve" in manner of address as you live to come off as just plain Steve, who reads me blog and answers me emails.  You do, and while the blog is not receiving 400,000 hits per month like the old one in Fresno, I will have you know that am quite happy with the 38,000 this month.  I do hope you are not offended that I share this letter with one and all.
A less than happy member of the community

Robert De Frees

One wonders why the Sheriff bothered to reply to such a poisoned letter.  Hang on, did I not tell one and all that Steve Durfor is rather brilliant?  Legend even...

I oft wonder if the good people of Yuba County know just how lucky they be to have such a chap.  They may well, as he was re-elected without any one running against.

Maori Members 'hongi' Robert

DISCLAIMER - Unless this old geezer has died and come back as Eleanor Roosevelt, you, the cheeky reader, will no doubt realize that old snap is used as 'illustration' only...

The Maori people greet one another by touching noses together. It is to exchange the breath of life. It is done twice, once in remembrance of ancestors, the second time as the greeting.


The nose-rubbing, or hongi, is actually nose-tapping. They shake hands, and touch the tips/bridges of their noses together twice.

Most who follow me blog know that this old geezer is quite open to new experiences.

Following a remembrance in local park in Hilo, several members of a New Zealand Maori group, greeted the old geezer with hongi.  Given that this old geezer possesses a rather large honker, it must have been a bit of a chore.  Imagine how much 'life's breath' the Maori received from...

To be true, I was quite touched that members of the group were so 'au fait' with.  Sadly, the moment was not captured for all time, and all of you cheeky buggers will just have to take word for.

The more time spent with the group staying at hostel is growing into a right 'love fest'.  What is not to love about so warm and gentle a people.

Maori Group 'Anzac Day' Remembrance in Hilo, Hawaii

Anzac Day - 25 April - The Anzac Day Act 1995 declares the 25th of April as a national day of commemoration in recognition and commemoration of the contribution of all those who have served Australia (including those who died) in time of war and in war-like conflicts. ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps and was first used when Australian and New Zealand soldiers were grouped in Egypt, prior to their landing at Gallipoli on 25 April 1915. The word ‘Anzac’ is protected and cannot be used without the authority of the Minister for Veterans’ Affairs.


As the new day broke in Hilo, Hawaii, members of the Te Tu Mataora, a group of Maori, staying at hostel, gathered at the Memorial in Kalakaua Park. Was very privileged to be allowed to witness and take part in their very moving tribute.

The filmed bit says it all...

Maori Haka

My dears, with bated breath does this old geezer await the arrival of the group from New Zealand that has booked the hostel for the next 8 days.  They are Maori performing group that will be taking part in the Merrie Monarch Celebrations to take place in Hilo all of this week.

The filmed bit used in this post IS NOT the group scheduled to arrive, was used to give a taste of what is hoped the group will be like.

I will tell true, so keen is this old geezer to meet and see the performances of arrival group it is akin to how felt on waiting to see Josh Groban, up close and in person.   Fancy that...

Strap selves in dear readers, it is going to be a wondrous ride all week.

EASTER MEMORIES

Last Easter, this old geezer played 'Easter Bunny'.  Fancy that...

For three years, this old geezer would don the costume and work the road lived on, gifting small children with baskets filled with treats.  The roads lived on in past were rather mean roads and were it not for this old geezer, there would have been many disappointed children.  Dressing up in costume and giving away hundreds of baskets might stick some a rather daft.  Truth be told, there were some folks who thought MOI was just asking for folks to take advantage of.  That may have been the case on the part of some of the parents but small children do not possess such qualities.  It was worth every minute spent in the bloody hot costume to see the faces of the very excited children.

That was then, this is now...

I will spend a quiet Easter, waiting on the arrival of guests from New Zealand.  A special group that has booked the hostel, who will be performing in the Merrie Monarch Festivities. This old geezer hopes to have many interesting tales to tell of.

Happy Easter to all of me mates, where ever they may be.

Easter Giggle

A little music for Easter...

'HEAR YOU KNOCKING, BUT YOU CAN'T COME IN'

All who stay at the hostel are informed of the hours that the main gate will be open.  It closes at 10pm.

Some travellers do not like to place a deposit for keys to gate and they are reminded that it can be a problem, if returning later than 10pm.

At half 4 in the morn, a guest returned to find gate locked.  He did not have a key as he did not want one. Being full of 'good cheer', the chap proceeded to rattle the gates with such a fury that it woke up the entire hostel.  The death rattle of the gates was accompanied by a loud shrill voice that hurled a steady stream of filthy language up the stairs.

His Holiness, Justin I, is always ready to assist guests with issues during the night.  Rather think that a smurf coloured individual, in his cups and casting aspersions on His Holiness' manhood qualifies as a real 'call for assistance'.  When no amount of calming chat could get the chap to be quiet, there was no choice but to ring up the local coppers.

In short order, the rude guest was removed.

The whole episode was so well heard by all in hostel, that it was the only thing mentioned when Tea was served.  To a person, guests felt that while a rude way to awake, the situation had been dealt with in a proper manner.

I mention this as a personage known to MOI asked if this old geezer only wrote of the cute side of hostel stays and not a 'bit of rough'.  To be true, after reflection, this old geezer came to see the positive side of the early morn commotion.  Hostel bookings are an adventure,there is an element of surprise, when it comes to who one will be staying with.  One never knows how some travellers will turn out.

News, or gossip travels fast in a small town, and Hilo is a small town.  Folks do love a bit of gossip and it has been interesting to hear several different versions of what happened with the colourful character.  I can tell true, that the bloke who was removed was not put upon, rather the other way round. 

The positive part of this tale is that one can feel certain that every effort is made to make the traveller feel safe and comfy.

'Christmas Past' Guest Pays A Call

My dears, you would never tell from the above snap that the chap shown could be wicked to this old geezer.

Allow MOI to set the stage...

As I am want to be, the old geezer was standing in the common area of the hostel.  My attention was drawn to a person ascending the stairs.  Without preamble, the chap featured in the snap exclaimed; "I did not think you would still be here."  Being MOI was alone in room, he had to mean me.  The first volley fired over me bow was followed by another stinging remark.  "You probably do not remember me."

It has oft been said of this old geezer that his memory is long, like an elephant it be...

Ryan, the chap in the snap, had booked into the hostel over Christmas past.  Ryan is active duty military, stationed on Oahu.  Ryan and his lovely wife, Francesca, felt the need to get away and re-charge selves during the holidays and had made the reservation some 6 months prior to ever landing in the islands.  I must tell true that Francesca, the wife, is quite the planner, and left nothing to chance, down to the vehicle hire for stay.

Ryan & Francesca booked the deluxe room.  Arrived in time to take part in the holiday cheer planned for Christmas Eve.  The old geezer had done quite a bit of baking (did not know the old geezer knew how to cook, did ya).  As remembered there was quite a spread of baked goods upon the holiday table.

Ryan and his lovely Francesca stayed long enough to afford a good meet with. One picks us things during a stay and Ryan proved to be material to remember.  Not long married and being a proud member of the military were much remembered.

Mind, Ryan had to point out to all assembled round the dining table over beers one evening his singular lack of hair on arms.  Being ever so wicked, this old geezer told Ryan that as he aged, he would be gobsmacked at the different parts of the body that would grow hair.  Right odd that Ryan would remember that...

That was then, this is now...

What had Ryan ascending the grand staircase on a brilliant day in April was his being in port with his ship.  Ryan is in the Coast Guard and part of the duty is to mend the buoys in the harbour.

Gutted this old geezer was to be thought of in terms of the 'departed' and to have my mental faculties challenged...

What was learned by the meeting yesterday, is that the impression of the hostel is long lasting upon folks who book in.  Never mind the 'priceless' impression got of the old geezer...

Rumour has it that Ryan and Francesca are going to make booking into the hostel every Christmas a tradition.  Fancy that...

'LONELY PLANET' CONTRIBUTOR UNMASKED

This old geezer has told that one never knows who will ascend the grand staircase of the hostel.  The chap featured in the above snap being a perfect illustration of that theory.

Justin I was at reception yesterday afternoon when Fraser made queries about booking a spot for a few days.  Playing cards close to chest, Fraser had Justin I do the complete tour of available beds, from a bunk in the dorm to a private room to our deluxe room, the one and only with private loo and shower.

Justin I does not look forward with undiluted pleasure to seeing his name on this blog.  This old geezer knew that His Holiness was clever with the sprinling of 'holy water' and burning insense but had no clue as to Justin I's ability to get folks to sit in the fancy pews.  With no pressure, Justin I managed to point out to Fraser the advantages to be had from booking superior accommodations at the hostel.  Was rather clever in his tour of the facilities as well.  The Big Kahuna would be pleased.

Fraser splashed out on the deluxe room.  Getting his luggage placed and needing a strong cup of 'joe' got Fraser to come out and make small talk with the old geezer.

Bit of a dark horse our new guest turned out to be.  Seems Fraser is a 'contributor' to 'Lonely Planet' and is known to check out hostels listed in and write if the visited hostel lives up to the comments posted on.

Fraser did not have any opportunity to 'work it' at the Hilo Bay Hostel.  Justin I had worked magic on and there were no points to exploit.  Fraser candidly admits that when he books into a hostel and reception is lacking in customer service, he tells how he writes reviews for the "Lonely Planet", is not surprised when that news turns a 'cold' reception into one that is most accommodating.

One has to admire the suaveness of Fraser, he is one to get full value for dollar spent.  Fraser is from Canada, and 'dollar' is to to watched...

Fraser is well travelled, been to Peru he has.  Well aware of the value of a hostel stay.  Bit clever to be on a journey of discovery and still mindful of the lolly...

This old geezer has no doubt  that when the report is done by Fraser, it will be a glowing one.  After all, the quote best loved about Hilo Bay Hostel comes from "Lonely Planet'; 'simply the best'.

One hopes that the lovely time spent at hostel will not be kept under Fraser's rather dashing hat, that he will spread the word about his time spent enjoying ALOHA.  I rather think it will...

'Je ne fait aucune apologie'

As rants go, the filmed bit used for this post, is not very clever but it serves a perfect segway to me post this morn.

One would think that 'hostel' would alert the traveller that he or she is booking into a budget accommodation.  It is not a full service hotel.  One would think...

Oft, the hostel is rung up from airport and asked when the 'free shuttle bus' will pick up.  OR, where is the 'free parking'.  Never mind the queries as to the time the 'free breakfast' will appear in the morn.

If the filmed bit was watched, you pick up on the chap being gobsmacked at the high cost of 'room service' but toward the end, he tells of the 'extra' charge for INTERNET, parking and phone service.  Truth be told, booking into a hotel can be a real strain on the pocketbook.

The Hilo Bay Hostel is located in the Downtown area of Hilo.  Stands to reason that there will be some inner city noise.  Brochure clearly tells the location of.  Brochure also tells of the dorm and private rooms.  With the exception of one room, all guests must use the public loo and shower.  They are located down the hall from bed.

The kitchen, whilst well appointed, is no gourmet kitchen, it is what it is.  One shares.

In many ways, the charge for a dorm bed or private bed is a real bargain.  The price is inclusive of tax and includes free wifi, linen,loads of hot water and a safe and clean place to use as place of rest whilst on holiday.

Mind, that does not even come close to explaining the 'staff attention' paid to each and every guest at hostel.

As you have no doubt gathered from the heading of the post, this old geezer is no apologist, nor is one required to be for The Big Kahuna, Terry or paid staff members.  Being very 'au fait' with the 'behind the scenes' activities of all mentioned, it falls to MOI to point out a few things missed.

Too oft, long hours are kept to ensure that arriving guests are pleased with their reception.  Furniture is repaired, floors cleaned, the list is endless.  There is 'no charge' for the endless 'inside' information passed on to guests, or a limit placed on number of questions allowed for tour guidance.  ALOHA is in the air and all guests come away knowing what 'ohana' can mean.

The Hilo Bay Hostel is what it is.  In the words of 'Lonely Planet'; "Simply the best..."  To the guests who book in with expectations beyond what is offered in the brochure, there are 'aucune apologie'...

TRIBUTE TO THE 'PRETTY' GIRLS OF HOSTEL

Less me followers think me lacking in drawing attention to the ladies who are full of self.

'God's Gift' at Hostel

My dears, when last looked, booking into the hostel is neither a cloistered or monastic experience.  Being that many of the guests are young travellers on holiday, one has to make due with a certain amount of preening that goes on between the sexes.  Bear in mind that all are adults and capable of monitoring own behaviour...

Having said that, this old geezer has a front row seat to the flirtatious nature of some of the guests.  Truth be told, the flirting is not limited to one sex, but the men seem to carry it a bit far.

Oft, a male guest will parade round in just shorts, thinking that exposed chest and legs are a natural draw to the eye of the lucky females.  Truth be told, some blokes are best viewed with all clothing on, legs are like a chicken and there is not much chest to beat on...

Females at the hostel, being in the minority,or travelling attached, seem to draw attention without effort.  Let a single woman sit at table, and it follows that a bloke will chat with.  Even this old geezer has been known to.

From time to time, travelling 'lorthorios' book in.  Blatant they are, as the costume is 'less is more', hair is gelled, skin shiny with oil and teeth cleaned.  Long showers and many moments in front of mirror are had to perfect the entrance into the common area.  Colour co-ordinated they be...

Wealthy MOI would be if all of the lines heard were strung together.  That is not to say all of the lines are clever...

There is justice in the world, only way to explain how a wannabe 'Don Juan' fails to unsheathe his sword for the entire stay.

Truth be told, my day in the 'bright sun' is past, days are filled in the shadow of the moon, remembering, and I do, when bod was firm and face full of youthful beauty.  I remember it well.  Decrepitude is not so bad, been called worse than 'old troll under the bridge'.

Now if MOI could only find the hair gel, floss, scented oil and wildly coloured walking shorts...

Australia National Anthem (with lyrics)

Thoughts of a friend away brought this to mind.

'Golden Girls' Decamp Hostel

Weekend past two of the loveliest ladies to grace the hostel went on with their travels.

MOI knew the minute the ladies ascended the grand staircase, they were special.  Sounds like so much tosh, but I was quite correct.

Jean and Mary are ladies of a certain age, come from Maine they do, and they do not travel light or unprepared.  Our 'Golden Girls' had booked a private room for 8 days and were most anxious to get luggage unpacked and have a wash up and a snack.  Jean was 'tour conductor' and asked all of the questions.  Like, where is nearest market and are there locks available.  Very organized our Jean was.

Over the course of their stay at the hostel, this old geezer got to know them rather well, that is to say; 'as well as a person from Maine allows'.  Never trust first impressions completely, as one would have thought Mother Angelica & Sister Ruth had come to stay, on first sight of the "Golden Girls".  Turns out that the lovely ladies had a wicked sense of humour and mixed well with the younger set.

Most of the time,Jean and Mary got started early, there was much to do and our ladies wanted to get all of the sights in.  Mind, it also turned out that our lovely ladies never met a shoppe they did not like and at the end of every trip would ascend the staircase with packages from many of the local shoppes.  That brought on the packing of boxes for shipping back on.  The "Golden Girls" were a two lady 'economic stimulus package' to Hilo...

During quiet moments, the ladies could be found sitting in the common area, Jean with her knitting and Mary organizing her squares for her quilt making.  They also enjoyed word games and just listening to the sights and sounds produced by other hostel guests.

Jean & Mary have travelled a bit.  They have booked into other hostels, brilliant way to make the 'holiday lolly' go further.  They know one has to be flexible in a hostel, they loo is shared as is the kitchen.  They were quite comfy in their private room.  Only complaint being of the alarm clock in next room that went unanswered in the wee hours of the morn.

Being of a certain age, one would expect our 'Golden Girls' to have 'great expectations' of the hostel, they did not.  Which set them apart from other ladies in a different room.  Much younger, the ladies did not seem pleased that they were booked into a 'hostel', being 'corporate executives' and all.  Right next door to our 'Golden Girls' and viewing the hostel from a different view point.  Fancy that...

It was a real joy to see and help the 'Golden Girls' each day.  They made a lasting impression...

LADIES ALL - GIRL'S SCHOOL FROM AUCKLAND, NZ

Weekend past the Hilo Bay Hostel hosted a 27 member group from New Zealand.  Auckland, NZ to be exact.  The group was from an all girls school.

The young ladies were chaperoned and a shining example of manners from the Land of Kiwi.

One was struck by how well mannered all of the young ladies were.  There was an orderly procession to the rooms, no fighting over bunks.  As the young ladies settled in, there was much going to and from all of the rooms.  Shrieks of delight could be heard and many grabbed mobiles to take snaps to send over the air to folks back home as to what their holiday diggs looked like.  Wanting to freshen up from flight, the young ladies filled the loo and shower area, making sure that all of their fellow school chums had an equal opportunity to make selves pretty for an outing to the mall.

One would think it would take forever for so many ladies to get ready.  Must have been the lure of a shopping mall that did the trick, as all were ready in ample time to board the waiting taxis.

One was struck by the almost complete absence of laptops.  Our young ladies were not going to sit and stare at a screen with so much adventure awaiting.  Mind, the mobiles were all in use, as was the land line at the foot of the stairs.

Breakfast was done in complete order.  No queues in kitchen.  Gobsmacked I was.

Sunday saw our guests from New Zealand depart early to do all sort of things.  One can only guess at the memories being created.

In honour of the lovely ladies, the filmed bit is the national anthem of NZ.

'Dick in a Box'

This old geezer is on a roll...

Mind, it was recent that this old geezer was made aware of this Justin Timberlake song.  Another tune to go with the post today.

The Penis Song

Dear reader, this old geezer has gone daft on the subject of willies. Blame it on the post about the new addition to the museum in Iceland.

FRENCH UNDERPANTS ADVERT

They say that 80% of all underpants sales are made by women, for husbands, lovers and boyfriends. Fancy that...

Turns a homo-erotic advert into a simply infomercial...

'TACKLE' on Display in Iceland

Dateline - LONDON

It was announced that the phallic historian/curator of willies, will need wait no longer for a human penis to set off his collection.  After a 15 year wait, the penis of a 95 year old chap from Iceland, where the Penis Museum is located, is soon to be added as the owner is no longer in need of.  He died.

One assumes that viewing the aged 'tackle' of the recently departed, will compete with that of the massive willie of the sperm whale on display.

Where else but in a country that is so bitterly cold that maintaining a 'stiffy' is a neat trick, would one find such a museum.

Am gobsmacked at number of videos on INTERNET that deal with the subject of 'penis'.  Right lively topic of interest and loads of laughs.

Getting back to the Phallological Museum, seems it draws in thousands of visitors during the summer season, is as big a tourist attraction as the whale watching.  How lucky we be in Hawaii that our whales are 'Humpback' and not 'Sperm'.  Did you know that  along with massive willie size, the Sperm Whale ejaculate is rumoured to be 30 gallons....  How horrid the waters would be during whale season.

Bloody hell, MOI has sunk to a new low...

Along with this post, there are several filmed bits, wickedly cheeky, that you may view, at your own risk.

Truth be told, this old geezer laughed so hard when read this story that it was known that it had to be shared.  Gives a whole new meaning to 'tackle' sorting...

'WHAT SOFT SHEETS YOU HAVE'

Dorm Beds at Hilo Bay Hostel

There are times that a compliment comes from a quarter not expected.  Such was the case when two young chaps booked into the hostel last week.  One was 6'7" and the other could not have been more that 5'6", all of 18 years and checking out the local college.

Being on a budget, the chaps were booked into the men's dorm, an upper and lower bunk.  Not knowing who would want which, MOI left it to the chaps to toss the coin.  Seems the 6'7" chap lost, but he was not put off at climbing into bed.

Coming back to check on the chaps, this old geezer was gobsmacked when the short chap told that the linen provided was 'very soft'.  Seems that the hostel stayed in on Waikiki Beach had linen that was quite 'rough'.  Both chaps were quite taken with the clean dorm room and had already checked out the loo and found that to be superior as well.  Fancy that...

Our new guests lost no time making new friends and in short order had got another guest to take them round to some of the local swimming spots.

Booking a bed in the dorm may not be for all, but there are many who look upon the experience as an adventure.  A way of making new friends.  At the very least, one might meet 'most unforgettable characters'.

How else would you meet a chap who restores old houses in Switzerland and is in Hawaii on extended holiday to learn how to surf.  So keen on the new sport that he sleeps with his board.  Or get to chat with two blokes who got tossed off a 'worm farm'. Get to meet a chap so brilliant at his job that he travels with two computers to keep in touch with his work.

We will skip over the professor from Dartmouth and the chap who wore a lamp on head to see his salad as he ate.

After 4 days in the dorm, the two young chaps left the hostel in high spirits.  They may not have found the local college to liking but told they would tell all of the grand time had during their stay at the hostel.

If the 'world is a stage', that part of that is the Hilo Bay Hostel, is loaded with 'players upon'. 

MESSAGE FROM YOUR QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Both houses of Congress will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:


1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour,' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4.You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse...

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancy boys).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

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God Save the Queen!

At the beginning.......

When I was a wee lad, books were my true friends. I could turn to them to educate me, provide me with endless hours of material to fuel my active imagination and they allowed me to escape from the hard and mean life of the orphanage. Books have remained my friend and should think it was due in large measure to them that I developed a love of writing.

Charles Dickens was the authour I read and re-read. His stories reached out to me. They gave me hope that a young lad with no prospects could achieve the impossible. His books were filled with characters that were both good and evil. Mr. Dickens wrote of social injustice and could identify with that, still do to this day. More's the pity that his style of writing is not popular today as we could use one like him about now.

I will declare quite loudly that I am no Charles Dickens...if anything I feel like a character in one of his novels, 'David Copperfield'.

In starting a new site, I have been trying to think of what direction I want it to go. The old one was focused on one road in one city and later on, a small community in need of a crusader, while it did good, it was blatant  that it was time to take a different direction. I still want to share the stories of me life, just think the time has come to do it from a different angle.  Light on the tragic...

All of this came about due to a look in on YOUTUBE recently. I was watching a filmed bit of the musical 'Dolly',  the main character was banging on about how she had locked self away from life and wanted to be more actively a part of. Mind, she was well and truly a flamboyant character, but  kept most of self locked away.

"It was the leaf that dropped out of book that brought her to senses, it was still much in one piece but it was brown..quite dead."

While I have remained active since my partner died, I too have locked away a huge part of me. Afraid of getting hurt or feeling loss again. I could use a million reason why I gave up on allowing folks to get close but and sure you get the drift.

So I have decided that with the new site I would try and tell the tale of my life. I can see the eyes roll up and folks shaking heads...'what has he got to tell, he is not famous and is not richest man in the world'. No, I am not, but I have come to believe that the circumstances of my life have been singular, a tale worth sharing. Thought it might make for interesting read if the past became much a part of the present story telling. The way I see it, the two combine to make all of what comes out of me head possible.

Truth be told, there are stories I am not quite sure I am capable of sharing, they hurt that much these many years later. But I want to try. It seems important to me to make some sort of record of who I be and where I have been. Much of that may come from the many years when I felt there was no one in he world I was connected to.

It may well be the salvation of me. I am so very afraid that I shall give up and that I will die alone. Having a project that requires me to devote loads of time to it may well keep me put and possible reap more rewards from life.

The fear I have felt of late is that so much happened in my early life that I have used up all of the candle, so to speak...there was no quick let to light.

I will leave it to the dear reader to decide if the effort is worthy of a continued return for more and more of the story. That too is the way of it.

Folks have told me that I have the ability to make them laugh and cry with my writing. I know full well that I make some very angry.

It may well be that I want to see just how clever I be. The last site produced many interesting stories and in working with an editor have found that they just did not make the mark. Something was missing,' the defining moment...' or enough body to the story to make it worth while telling. I was vain enough to think that the events of Calaveras would stand up well , but there was so much re-write and pushing in a direction I did not want to go that I have backed off the original idea. Much to the relief of the poor editor, who was kind enough to tell me that what really worked with my writing was when I was very personal and wrote of the events in my life as I lived them. There have been a million social activists, no one really wants to hear about them. What folks want is a story that they feel makes them want to care about the person they are reading about. To feel connected in a larger way to the problems faced and how they have been dealt with.

Bit harsh to be told that books that truly work, are the ones, one rips back the covers and tells it all. Holds nothing back and allows the reader to see how the events shaped the life of the character being told about. To focus on a main character and allow that character to light up the pages and not use name dropping for name sake to carry the weight of the story.

Since I admire the style of Charles Dickens so much, it may well turn out that I come off sounding a bit dated, but that will be a small price to pay it it allows me the courage to tell all of the stories I want to get out. We will have to see if the blend of the past and present works as I want it to.

I am at present living in a rather small town, and can not say that the burden of being a community activist is particularly heavy at the moment. A new stage upon which this old geezer will perform.

I rather think Shakespeare was spot on with what he wrote in 'As You Like It';

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,

 The sixth part leads
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound.

 I start at the beginning and go forward from there. I do hope that friends will stop by for a read and that in time others will find the site and feel comfy enough to read a bit from time to time.

Let us start by saying that 'to the manor born' I was not. The start of me life was anything but, and it is this beginning that sets in motion my turn through life. I want to make sure all lock into that detail, as it will be most important to remember down the road when reading. Having got this far, I find that I have an overwhelming need to stop and think on what step to take next. I can assure you, dear reader, that there will be more, so very much more.

CONFESSION IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL

The post that follows was one placed on me blog when I fessed up to the whole world that I had become 'Public Transport' size.  It was first posted back in autumn of 2009, when me weight was well over the 350 mark.  Just look at the snap above, not even using tricks of photography can hide how massive MOI had become.  With a face like a beach ball and a belly that did not allow one to see shoes, it is not a sight to enjoy.  Feeling almost like a public service advert for weight loss, I place the post before you again.  Easy enough to do when one has lost over 150 of the pounds pictured in the snap.

Dear reader, this old geezer was brutal in the telling of the tale of FAT, so brutal it worked.


OBESITY, from Fr. obésité, from L. obesitas "fatness, corpulence," from obesus "that has eaten itself fat," pp. of obdere "to eat all over, devour," from ob "over" + edere "eat" . FAT - having too much flabby tissue; corpulent; obese: a fat person,dull; stupid: fat clums any of several white or yellowish greasy substances, forming the chief part of adipose tissue of animals and also occurring in plants, that when pure are colorless, odorless, and tasteless and are either solid or liquid esters of glycerol with fatty acids; fats are insoluble in water or cold alcohol but soluble in ether, chloroform, or benzene: used in the manufacture of soap, paints, and other protective coatings and in cooking.

My dears, I did not want to leave anything to chance with the post I am about to give you to read. As the snap will surely show, I am FAT, there is no other word to use. There is far more of me than there should be. I see it in the bath mirror every morning and my clothes tells me that I have become 'tent' size. How this came about and what it means to me is quite an interesting story and I think if you stay with me, you will see how it all ties together. Mind, I know there will be laughs had at my expense, but never will the dear reader doubt that I am very aware of my present situation and the place in society due to it.

All of this comes about due to a visit to the doctor's office week past. The doctor told me that I was over weight. That has got to rank as the understatement of the year. In medical terms, if one is a certain percent over ideal weight, it is called OBESITY, not the quiet little word 'fat'. In point of fact, the doctor listed on my chart the complaints I might have and right up at the top of the list was OBESITY. I will go so far as to tell that I think the doctors place me in the MORBIDLY OBESE class.

For you who are of perfect weight, all of this will sound odd. It did to me, when I was a shadow of meself now on display. But as the pounds added self to me frame, it became a subject that I got to know a great deal about. I know all about diets, quick fix solutions, the miracle of losing weight in sleep and even the dangers of having one's self cut open and a band placed round opening of stomach to restrict food. I am very aware of how some folks view me due to my size. Have heard all of the names and am gobsmacked at the number of clever folks who will not have 'fat' friends and avoid folks with weight issues as if just being round will cause them undo harm.

There is a clever lady on the telly who has battled weight for many years, even going so far as to bring out on a cart, the amount of pounds she lost, displayed as lard. Very creative, but hardly think it worked. Many know they are fat, and do not need others to remind. In the case of the famous and clever lady, her problems with weight are ongoing.

Folks get fat for a number of reason and I am not qualified to tell what causes others to be fat. I do know my own body and can tell you what causes me to put on the pounds. I have been aware of that for a very long time. To be true I am not going to hold back on sharing and if the subject of FAT is too much to bear or more information than you want to know, I will not be offended if you wander off and find something more interesting to do with your time. I hope you will stick round as it will be most illuminating and as always will use meself as the butt of the tale.

I have not always been fat, in point of fact I could show you snaps of me over time that will prove that I had a fine figure for majority of life. As late as me 40's that still held true but there were a number of issues that I was unaware that were going to play a major role in that changing.

When I lost me partner, I turned to food and put on a bit of weight, and lost it. Sadly, am told that the body remembers every fat cell and it lies in wait just waiting to spring forward making you larger at any given time. I also found out late in life that I had a Thyroid problem, and have to take medicine to correct it not working proper. Don't roll eyes skyward, I am not going to lay the blame just on me Thyroid, but it is a contributing factor.

Along with the Thyroid, I have very bad bones. The bad bones have caused me to go under the knife to lose hip, and parts of leg bones. I was born with this condition and there was nothing I could have done to prevent. I was and to some degree a walker most of life. Over time, my ability to walk has been made more and more difficult, and it has been the main source of exercise I allowed meself. I would be too afraid to set foot in a gym in my present condition. Would hardly want to be the cause of laughter ringing throughout the establishment.

I stand at about 5'9" and depending on what scale of proper weight you use, should weight no more than round 160 pounds. When I was 40, I remember being quite proud that my weight was just about that, a little under. I cut a fine figure.

During the past 22 years I have added the pounds, taking a bit off from time to time but always getting it back. If I were to be honest, my weight had hung round 220 pound, not public transport size but not a good weight for me. At the time of my operation to remove a hip, my weight was 208 and there was every hope that I would get more to come off. It did for a bit.

During the last two years my weight has been round 250, in the last six months the flood gates have opened and I now am at the massive weight of 356 pounds. A very large man indeed. Is a laugh to hear a doctor tell me that I am overweight when I know that my BMI is through the roof and I have lost the ability to see shoes, let alone to tie them.

Round now many of you are probably wondering how much food I eat in order to gain so much weight. That my dears is the rub. I have a breakfast every morning that is tea, hot cereal or a bagel. Nothing else. I do  snack and have my main meal round 1300 and it can be a pork chop with potatoes, chicken with rice, pasta, sandwiches, or even have been know to settle for scrambled eggs. Mind, I do not have all of the above mentioned food in one day, it is one or the other. I am  overly fond of sweets and do like soda and always use a sugar sweetener in me tea.

Do I have days when I eat more than I should, to be sure. My cupboards do  contain snacks, there are  crisps, cookies or other tempting things. There is fruit in the icebox, along with ice cream, pies and chocolate,  and I do try to limit the amount of bread I eat.

Each of us knows own body well, and I have to believe that to a large degree my Thyroid is not working proper at the moment and am in need of a different dose of medication to correct, but I am no doctor and have to relie on the judgment of one with the medical degree.

In the community I live there are loads of folks who are just as fat if not fatter than me. Not everyone can have a medical condition that makes this happen and when you see the massive amount of 'junk' food bought and ordered for delivery, it is no wonder why so many are massively overweight. Many are female, many are quite young and in some cases there are fat children. One once told me that poor folks buy all of the wrong foods. Why not, fat in food tastes lovely. It is a drug used to not worry about other things, sit in from of the telly eating cakes, candy and sweets and not worry about anything. If nothing else the sugar will give you a high or cause you to fall into a coma.

To tell true, I am very unhappy with my present situation. The added weight has me depressed and along with the weight, the storm raging in me body due to the Thyroid has made me want to not do much of anything, I have no energy. I am depressed but not so depressed that I am going to open up veins and bleed out all over the floor. I just do not know what to do at this point.

The added insult is that I recently had to go and buy new trousers and braces to hold them up. I look like a very fat old farmer. When I look into the mirror it seems as if my head and face have enlarged as well. Horrid, that is the only word I can think of.

Dear reader, I tell you this tale as it is important for all to know that fat does not just hurt the person carrying the weight. It hurts family members who worry about you. It cost a pretty packet to deal with weight related issues and we all know how massive health care is these days. It can also cause folks to be unkind, not sure if they mean to be or is just the way society is these days. The younger members of society can be quite cruel in their comments. Mind, even folks with years can be evil in comments...recently had an older lady on public transport tell me if if was 'not so fat' there would be a place for her to sit as well.

There is an advert on the telly about a band that can be placed on the opening of the stomach to control intake. It is only available to folks who are more that 100 pound their goal weight. Bloody hell, I am way beyond that and have a BMI of 44. If the Thyroid does not get under control, they will have to take an Axe to door so I can enter me flat.

My dears, I joke about my weight, but in all honesty, know full well that is not a laugh. Serious stuff and I wish I knew the answer. I am not trying to get back the body I had as a youth, but I would like to get to a more normal size and am worried about the freight train I seem to be on with the pounds just adding on. I no longer have the nerve to get on the scale in the bathroom...besides, when I went over 300, it no longer was capable to read the massive numbers...

There you have it, my tale of woe. I will keep you posted as to how the fight goes in getting control of me body....and I invite comments, even if in private, of the hell some of you might be going through with your own weight.

"You better live your best and act your best and think your best today, for today is the sure preparation for tomorrow and all the other tomorrows that follow." When you are massive in size, the quote takes on a whole new meaning....

.

'JETSTAR NOW BOARDING FOR OZ'

My dears, would it not be odd if this old geezer missed an opportunity to poke a little fun at one soon to embark on a journey?  Another of me favoured things...

The Big Kahuna is to depart Hilo for his digs in OZ, a trip made ever so oft.

The Big Kahuna has been running round town sorting out all of the loose ends before his holiday 'down under' and have no doubt that he will much appreciate his time visiting with family and winding down.  Mind, one would think that given the recurring theme of this event, The Big Kahuna would have the process down pat, 'a piece of cake' so to speak...

Were it so...

The Big Kahuna has all of the 'bits & bobs' sorted out, just needs to close the travel case, after checking it more than a few times.  Quite something to watch all of the pieces come together in a rush on the last day.

Our fearless leader is not known to waste cash and has booked himself on 'Jetstar'.  Despite its low-cost ethos,  "All day every day low fares", Jetstar offers StarClass on its A330-200 aircraft. The StarClass cabin is fitted with 38 leather premium class seats in a 2-3-2 configuration, similar to Qantas domestic Business Class or Qantas international premium economy class. The service is inclusive of all meals and beverages, in-flight entertainment, International Qantas Club access where available, and includes an increased baggage allowance of 30 kg.  The Big Kahuna is travelling Economy Class - pre-purchased meals on board or buy on board service with food and beverages. Portable in-flight entertainment devices are available for an extra fee.

Jetstar is not without drama and has received some rather bad press in the past.

On 14 November 2009, Jetstar passenger Paralympian Kurt Fearnley was involved in a well publicised confrontation with Jetstar Fearnley refused to give up his independence and crawled through the terminal instead.

Again in November 2009, Jetstar came under more scrutiny after they refused to book a guide dog of a visually impaired couple. Jetstar later apologised for the incident and blamed it on a break down in communications.

One wonders if Jetstar will allow seeing-eye hamster The Big Kahuna travels with to board with, or makes allowances for all of the "Hawaiiana" carry-on.

Feeling much put upon, it has been said that The Big Kahuna begins to unwinds as the wheels leave the ground and the trolley bearing G&T's makes way down the aisle of the low rent portion of the plane.  Proving once again that he is 'not dead yet'...

'FAVOURED THINGS'

A chance encounter with an older couple staying at the hostel for a few days got this old geezer to thinking.

The lovely couple had returned to the hostel from a long day of taking in the many sights of Hilo.  Whilst the lady refreshed self, her husband took to the kitchen to make up a lite snack for them to enjoy before going out to dinner.  Small plate of crackers and cheese was laid out on side table, along with two G&T's.  Never let it be said that folks at the hostel do not know how to enjoy the small things in life with style.

Always in the mood to hear another of life's stories, this old geezer sat and chatted with, coming away feeling good at the role hostel had played in making them feel special.  Mind, one likes to think that all who come under the hostel's roof are made to feel special.

Small things...

This old geezer has been made whole of late by a wide range of 'small things' that have lightened the load of the day.  A trip to a local discount store to purchase a few items for me suite.  Treasures that will greet with delight as a movie is enjoyed, a book read or a blog prepared.  The discovery that a shirt once too tight is now ready to adorn me ever shrinking body.  The gift of a much favoured food, much enjoyed, even if not the best item to eat, it was ever so delicious...

Seeing the delight on the face of Justin I at having been blessed with a much larger telly to watch film collection.  Truth be told, were Justin I to get connected to cable, he would be over the moon, but one has to get to the moon, 'one small step at a time...'

That this old geezer would use a tune from a musical many try to hide pleasure of, should not come as much of a shocker.  MOI will freely admit that he has seen the film too many times to could AND was known to know all of the words to the songs and could belt them out rather loudly when the mood struck.  The film was a real 'feel good' moment for the old geezer.

I digress...

Of late the list of favoured things has grown.  Norman and his ability to laugh 'in French', the surprise culinary delight prepared by Albert,  the little treasure given by Terry, even the sharing of snacks by Glenda ranks a special nod.  There is of course the daily surprise of what some of the guests might reveal.

The daily trip to local petrol station is always a favoured thing.  More so when there is a 'free' chocolate bar won.  The running laugh between Scott and meself is that it happens so oft.  Mind, never let it be said that the offered chocolate bar is refused.

My dears, you get the drift,  the small things in life that seem to make a difference, or are remembered so well.

CHAMPION MUSIC

Musical salute to our winning ping pong guests.

PING PONG CHAMPIONS AT HILO HOSTEL

My dears, when this old geezer was a wee lad, and there be some who doubt that this old geezer was a young lad, playing 'ping pong' inside on a dreary day was massive fun.

It was not so much to show skill or win, rather to see if we, the wicked children, could destroy massive numbers of the balls used to play.  Whacking the balls with force caused them to sail round the room, bounce off other boys and ultimately meet a crushing end.  Mind, the paddles were quite useful to do all sort of things as well.  It never crossed me mind that the game of 'ping pong' was to be taken serious.

Over weekend past, there checked in two rooms of guests who had come to Hilo to compete in a tournament.  'Table Tennis Tournement'.  Fancy that...

Quite the athlete the chap were.  This old geezer never new that sailing a wee ball over a net on a table could do the body so well.  Nary an ounce of fat was to be seen on any body.

The chaps must have been good at the game as a wee trophy was found on the display case outside room in the morn.  It proclaimed to the world that our guests had placed 2nd in the tournament.  Bravo...

Truth be told, there might have been sour grapes at the placing as the trophy was left behind when our winning guests check out later.  If not called for, one can assume that it will be flogged as a 'hawaiian memento' in our left behind box.  I always wanted to be a trophy winning sort of bloke, just might purchase, as the monies collected go for "Japan Tsunami Relief Fund".  Can place it right next to my 3rd place bowling trophy...

'Think Back...'

The other morning this old geezer was doing 'Tea & Tidy' and happened to notice so many long faces gathered round the dining room table at the hostel.  As it is want to do in Hilo this time of year, it was raining.  That being the cause of so many down guests.

To say that it does not rain in Hilo would be to say that there is no wine in Paris.  It is simple not true.

I reminded all of the lovely guests that whilst there might be a little rain, there was still much to see and do in Hilo.  AND, reminded the gathered rain weary souls, that just up the road or down a bit on the island, it might well be quite dry.

Hilo has much to offer, there be museums, shopping and just taking the time to sit and chat with newly met friends.

Truth be told, this old geezer has not been in Hilo since they planted dirt but has come to know that rain falls during the night and quite oft it clears up rather nicely during the day.

When I am caught in a down moment, I think back on all of the tales I have come to know of Hilo.

Soon after telling all of the guests of possible good weather, the sky cleared up and it was right in their world again.  One guest departed with his newly acquired surfboard, two others went on a walk to the market and others made plans to get out and enjoy Hilo.

One must remind our guest that their visit to Hilo is 'one brief shining moment' and they must seize it with both hands...

'WHAT DID YOU SAY?'

Avid readers of me blog know that the saga of my hearing loss is never ending.  A few days past another chapter was written and want to share it with all of you lovely folks sitting in the dark reading.

A visit to a hearing centre was ordered by the specialist visited in Honolulu.  Doctors always want confirmation of what a patients complains of, it so small wonder that hearing loss would rank right up there as a most testable problem.

The lovely lady who did the test was very good.  She spoke 'loud' and made one feel right comfy at the thought of spending some time in the 'sound proof booth'.

MOI will spare you all of the gory details, it will suffice to say that the instruments at hand in the booth did a most excellent job of documenting just how deaf this old geezer is becoming.

The lovely lady who performed the tests confirmed what this old geezer knew adding more details to ponder.  The left ear is still doing well, whilst the right ear is a loss cause.  There seems to be nerve and conductivity damage.

The good news is that this old geezer will more than like get a brilliant hearing aid for the good ear.  Any boost is a good thing.

There are times this old geezer feels just like the bus driver in the film bit featured.  So much of what is said is missed, or heard incorrectly.  I will tell true, the filmed bit is a giggle, even if the language is a wee bit rough.