At the beginning.......

When I was a wee lad, books were my true friends. I could turn to them to educate me, provide me with endless hours of material to fuel my active imagination and they allowed me to escape from the hard and mean life of the orphanage. Books have remained my friend and should think it was due in large measure to them that I developed a love of writing.

Charles Dickens was the authour I read and re-read. His stories reached out to me. They gave me hope that a young lad with no prospects could achieve the impossible. His books were filled with characters that were both good and evil. Mr. Dickens wrote of social injustice and could identify with that, still do to this day. More's the pity that his style of writing is not popular today as we could use one like him about now.

I will declare quite loudly that I am no Charles Dickens...if anything I feel like a character in one of his novels, 'David Copperfield'.

In starting a new site, I have been trying to think of what direction I want it to go. The old one was focused on one road in one city and later on, a small community in need of a crusader, while it did good, it was blatant  that it was time to take a different direction. I still want to share the stories of me life, just think the time has come to do it from a different angle.  Light on the tragic...

All of this came about due to a look in on YOUTUBE recently. I was watching a filmed bit of the musical 'Dolly',  the main character was banging on about how she had locked self away from life and wanted to be more actively a part of. Mind, she was well and truly a flamboyant character, but  kept most of self locked away.

"It was the leaf that dropped out of book that brought her to senses, it was still much in one piece but it was brown..quite dead."

While I have remained active since my partner died, I too have locked away a huge part of me. Afraid of getting hurt or feeling loss again. I could use a million reason why I gave up on allowing folks to get close but and sure you get the drift.

So I have decided that with the new site I would try and tell the tale of my life. I can see the eyes roll up and folks shaking heads...'what has he got to tell, he is not famous and is not richest man in the world'. No, I am not, but I have come to believe that the circumstances of my life have been singular, a tale worth sharing. Thought it might make for interesting read if the past became much a part of the present story telling. The way I see it, the two combine to make all of what comes out of me head possible.

Truth be told, there are stories I am not quite sure I am capable of sharing, they hurt that much these many years later. But I want to try. It seems important to me to make some sort of record of who I be and where I have been. Much of that may come from the many years when I felt there was no one in he world I was connected to.

It may well be the salvation of me. I am so very afraid that I shall give up and that I will die alone. Having a project that requires me to devote loads of time to it may well keep me put and possible reap more rewards from life.

The fear I have felt of late is that so much happened in my early life that I have used up all of the candle, so to speak...there was no quick let to light.

I will leave it to the dear reader to decide if the effort is worthy of a continued return for more and more of the story. That too is the way of it.

Folks have told me that I have the ability to make them laugh and cry with my writing. I know full well that I make some very angry.

It may well be that I want to see just how clever I be. The last site produced many interesting stories and in working with an editor have found that they just did not make the mark. Something was missing,' the defining moment...' or enough body to the story to make it worth while telling. I was vain enough to think that the events of Calaveras would stand up well , but there was so much re-write and pushing in a direction I did not want to go that I have backed off the original idea. Much to the relief of the poor editor, who was kind enough to tell me that what really worked with my writing was when I was very personal and wrote of the events in my life as I lived them. There have been a million social activists, no one really wants to hear about them. What folks want is a story that they feel makes them want to care about the person they are reading about. To feel connected in a larger way to the problems faced and how they have been dealt with.

Bit harsh to be told that books that truly work, are the ones, one rips back the covers and tells it all. Holds nothing back and allows the reader to see how the events shaped the life of the character being told about. To focus on a main character and allow that character to light up the pages and not use name dropping for name sake to carry the weight of the story.

Since I admire the style of Charles Dickens so much, it may well turn out that I come off sounding a bit dated, but that will be a small price to pay it it allows me the courage to tell all of the stories I want to get out. We will have to see if the blend of the past and present works as I want it to.

I am at present living in a rather small town, and can not say that the burden of being a community activist is particularly heavy at the moment. A new stage upon which this old geezer will perform.

I rather think Shakespeare was spot on with what he wrote in 'As You Like It';

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,

 The sixth part leads
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound.

 I start at the beginning and go forward from there. I do hope that friends will stop by for a read and that in time others will find the site and feel comfy enough to read a bit from time to time.

Let us start by saying that 'to the manor born' I was not. The start of me life was anything but, and it is this beginning that sets in motion my turn through life. I want to make sure all lock into that detail, as it will be most important to remember down the road when reading. Having got this far, I find that I have an overwhelming need to stop and think on what step to take next. I can assure you, dear reader, that there will be more, so very much more.