'je ne sais quoi'

My dears, you will have to bear with this old geezer and his re-use of old snaps to flavour posts.  I am still without a private machine and have not downloaded the newer snaps taken this past months.

Of late me life has taken on a certain je ne sais quoi flavour and of the mind that it suits this old geezer rather well.  It would be a bit hard to define clearly the many events and folks that have played a role in my recent travels.  Travels that seem to never end, not so much the physical but of the mind and soul.  How is that for profound?

Recently met a fellow papist from Minnesota.  One tends to think most that live there as followers of Luther.  This chap is quite worldly and upon first meeting one would not credit with having an active involvement with the church.  It is always a pleasure to meet up with one who is quite happy to acknowledge his love of God and his church.  Not the flag waving sort of faith, more a quiet and sure feel for what he believes and practices on a daily basis.  In these hard times, what with so much negative press directed at the church, it is still a wonder that many do not give up on Holy Mother Church.

In a recent email exchange, the chap wondered why this old geezer was not a priest, or at least a deacon in the church.  It got me to wonder and thought I would explain self to him and to other readers who have wondered about this old geezer and his continued love of the church.

Avid readers of me blog will no doubt be 'au fait' with the abuse suffered by this old geezer in childhood.  That abuse was at the hands of priests and religious who were evil men poising as.

They say that the abused child can foster feelings toward the abuser.  That must have been my case when I contemplated entering the priesthood.  The thoughts did not last long, and truth be told, never truly thought meself as having a 'calling'.

Recent stories in the newspapers have highlighted the troubles in Archdiocese of Philadelphia.  The Archbishop has taken action, after the Grand Jury pushed him up against the wall.  It would seem that every effort is being made by the Archbishop to deal with charges against priests with every consideration for the rights of the priests named at fault.  More's the pity that the same consideration was not shown to the countless abused children.

I will tell true, it took many years to forgive my church and God for what had been done to me as a child.  Much was lost by the abuse, the least of which was the innocence of childhood.

That was then, this is now.

I still have flashbacks every time a story comes out with the headline "Philadelphia Paedophile Priests".

Getting back to the comments from the lovely chap met recently.  One does not tell all to a new 'friend', it was enough to share thoughts on the state of the church we both loved.  There was no way he could have known that his comments would get me to look more closely at the question.

I am not a perfect person.  I try to be the best I can be and to treat all met with kindness.  If my 'je ne sais quoi' led the chap to think me more holy than am, I am flattered.  Mind, I rather think that the chap met has a good idea of who he is and what matters most.  Rather brilliant that...