Loss Is Still Loss

This morn I ventured out to visit Brenda's shop. Brenda being the lovely lady who has been my 'rock' in these hard times. One has to resume the process of being engaged in life, and keeping contact with one's caring friends is part of that process.

Brenda is 'there' for more than just this old geezer.

A lovely old geezer, not well known to me, came in during my visit and informed Brenda that his wife of 50 years died yesterday in hospital. The death was not a surprise, the wife had been very seriously ill for some time and it was a release from pain. Death, in many ways came, as a 'friend' and took the poor Chap's wife to a better place.

What a lot a years 50 be. A lifetime of sharing. She was a lovely 16 and he but 18, when they made the trip to the altar and swore to live together.

However hard my loss has been, so callow I am not that I do not see that the pain suffered by this chap is just as great. More so.

The lovely man has been cared for by his wife these many years. Like so many unions between a man and a woman, this chap depended on his wife to take care of things. By all accounts, the lovely lady did a brilliant job of it. She paid the bills, kept house, watched the cash in the bank and so many of the other things that the poor chap came to expect from her. Mind, when she became very ill, he made sure that he was at hospital on a daily basis, he was there for her.

Brenda came into the picture after the wife had become quite ill. The poor chap was at a loss to deal with the chores his wife had taken care of for so long. Brenda took Jerry under her wing and made sure that bills got paid and there was food in the icebox. However busy Brenda's day was, there was always time to sit down with Jerry and sort him out.

Sitting cross from Jerry this morn, I felt his loss and knew that he too had just had an event happen to that would change life as he knew it. Jerry told me that he felt much relieved knowing that the suffering of his wife was over. Relief being a relative term, as one could see the pain of his loss written all over his face. The poor bugger looked 'lost'. I know the feeling. Over the next few days, Jerry will have to come to terms with his loss. I can tell you that many small things will come up that will remind him that life has changed, he will get 'weepy' and it will be hard at times. What a lot of images will float cross his loaf over the coming days of times shared. Good times and hard times.

Jerry, as has this old geezer, been blessed that there was someone there in these trying times. In both our cases it was Brenda.

I can not speak for Jerry. For myself, I could write volumes about the help and support and LOVE showered down upon me in these hard times. Consider myself right blessed in having. Brenda will be first to tell that she considers what she has done no 'special' thing. "I am just helping my friend."

How grand the world would be if all who were in need of a true friend got the support of that friend. Mind, some will not come forward and seek help of a friend, it is not for me to judge why some do that. History has proved to me that one has to reach out in order to be touched. I am ever so glad that I learned that lesson in the past.

I have no doubt that Jerry will go on. Like me, the steps will not be so fully of 'spring' but in time, steps will come more sure.

Life moves forward. Day by day is how I am taking it. I venture out and try to be as engaged as I have a mind to be, my eyes and ears are open to the on-going events of life round. With pluck, I hope...