I'm All Alone

My dears, the filmed bit with music comes from the Broadway smash "Spamalot". You be 'Au fait' with my use of music to capture the right mood for me post.
The loss of a loved one releases a flood of emotions. There are many days of being 'weepy'. Grief is a wicked thing.
Last few days have seen me with less spring in me step. Like poor 'Arthur', it is convenient for me to feel as if "I am all alone", hence the use of the featured bit.
By now, you have caught on that is a bit of a giggle? I mean really, life throws 'poo' at you all of the time, that is why we have a 'loo'. The nasty bits are just a flush away. Truly.
Having been down this road before, I can tell you that it is never easy to deal with the death of one loved. I tend to think it is a bit selfish of me self, due to my not have the pleasure of the company of the departed loved one. Truth be told, the pain is very real, the tears flow, the voice loses control, that many ghosts come back to haunt about the times spent with the dead.
I am gobsmacked at the many kindnesses shown me by folks this past few days. Or did Paul and I have the great good fortune to pick so many of the right sort?
More than being gobsmacked, I am forced to deal with the fact that regardless of my pain, I AM NOT ALONE. The mistake made in past in dealing with grief was to closet set in home and ignore all of the lovely people who wanted desperate to help me get through the dark days. In the end, that only added to the pain.
Life as I knew it changed on Monday, bit dramatic? Think on, if you have a companion, a loved one, who you share life with and they are gone, does that not change the order of the day?
I am clueless as to what follows, or how I will deal with my changed daily routine. I do not do 'alone' well. A lovely lady known to me came round last night and we chatted. The most profound thing she said to me was; "You do realize that you take with you, from A - Z, your grief". Quite right. The getting on a plane and running off does not end the emotions that are playing out in me head.
I am going to spend the next few days sorting out me thoughts. The many calls and emails received let me know that you, my lovely readers, understand. Having been public in so many other things, I promise to share my times with you. There might be a few who will get to know that death, horrid thing that it is, can be dealt with.