SORTING OUT LIFE

The Old Geezer is Odious to Some

If you look closely at the snap, you will see that I take the liberty of poking fun at meself...never let it be said that the old geezer is unaware of how odious he appears to some and how they dread the latest entry in diary, 'another fiat from DeFrees'.

Perfect example is love note received in post recently;

'To All Who read this line of bologna, this old Geezer that speaks Rob Defrees is so full of himself it's sickning. He is a wolf in sheeps clothing. BEWARE! He tries to act like he is just so intelligent and treats people like dirt. Unless you are totally under his thumb. And if not watch out because he will be the first as he so calls it to call the coppers. I have never met someone so self centered in my life.'

I was reading another entry from Stephen Fry, now there is a most clever chap, and I made myself a promise to try and keep using colourful language, even at the risk of some not quite getting what I am on about. Mind, they do make a lovely book called a dictionary, and more should try to increase their word usage ability...very tiring to have everyone fall back on the same way of saying thing. English is a wondrous language and should be used more than it is here in America. But that is a story for another day

It is my manner that has got many to strike out at me.  That seems the price one pays for trying to let folks know when things are not right in the world. Having written about the very nasty comments left on one of my sites, I must also tell that there are many who feel that it is quite horrid and hope that I do not run away and hide.

Am bloody well aware of the dichotomy my personality must present for some. Yet, if we be complete honest, are not most of us made up of parts? 

I chatted about newspapers with a mate the other day, and he made me realize that I am no longer living in a large metropolitan area that contains a population that thrives on reading all about events in the community.  Hilo is not New York City or Los Angeles, let alone London.   Time will tell if the small newspapers in this country will still be around of if folks will even miss them were they to be gone.

What I think I have just done, is to write a lot of small talk to get enough courage to come round to the main point I wanted to make today.

I mentioned Stephen Fry in the beginning and it is because of something he did that got to to have a hard think on matters facing me in my own life. AND to point out that the small gesture, so sorely missing in America, is still alive and well in England, or at least with Mr. Fry. Stephen Fry suffers from Bipolar disorder. It is a problem I have dealt with most of my life as well and until today have never mentioned it before on these pages. Was always afraid of what folks would think.   If Mr. Fry, who is ever so clever can be open about it, I bloody well can.   I mention all of this as these past days have left me feeling very depressed. At first I thought I was having a major episode of depression but am now influenced to believe it is more a case of being upset over the developments of late, in life.  That would be the ongoing discomfort felt from fall.  Bit of a bother to not be able to get about, even if done slowly.

It seems that some time back a lady wrote to Mr. Fry, and asked how he dealt with things and thanked him for being so open with his problems with depression, stating loudly that she felt Stephen had saved her life. Not sure if many know who Stephen Fry be.   If you watch BBC you will know him from being on several chat shows and also doing programmes for BBC. He is much in demand. He took the time to write the dear lady a letter and I would like to share it with you as it made me feel so much the better after I had read it.It is as follows;

Dear Crystal,
I’m so sorry to hear that life is getting you down at the moment. Goodness knows, it can be so tough when nothing seems to fit and little seems to be fulfilling. I’m not sure there’s any specific advice I can give that will help bring life back its savour. Although they mean well, it’s sometimes quite galling to be reminded how much people love you when you don’t love yourself that much. I’ve found that it’s of some help to think of one’s moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather:
Here are some obvious things about the weather:
It’s real.
You can’t change it by wishing it away. If it’s dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can’t alter it.
It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.
BUT
It will be sunny one day.It isn’t under one’s control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will.
One day.It really is the same with one’s moods, I think.
The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions.
They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness - these are as real as the weather -
 AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE’S CONTROL.
Not one’s fault.
BUT
 They will pass: they really will.
In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes. ‘Today’s a crap day,’ is a perfectly realistic approach. It’s all about finding a kind of mental umbrella.
‘Hey-ho, it’s raining inside: it isn’t my fault and there’s nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage.’
I don’t know if any of that is of any use: it may not seem it, and if so, I’m sorry. I just thought I’d drop you a line to wish you well in your search to find a little more pleasure and purpose in life.
Very best wishes(Signed)
Stephen Fry

I try very hard to remind self that what Stephen states so well is going to take place. It is the one constant battle I fight and probably the reason I write and try to help others, makes my situation seem less gloomy.There you have it my dears, another effort to give you a slice of life as I see it. For the record, it is raining very hard as I write this, being the wee hours of the new day...lovely to know I am dry and comfy and that the sun will return in a day or two.