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| Paul - A Real 'Angel of Mercy' |
There is nothing like 'illness' to bring to the fore who your real 'mates' are...
Nothing prepared me for all of the acts of kindness that Paul would show me during my recent surgery and after.
Where do I begin? For starters, Paul made sure that I arrived at hospital on time on the day of surgery. He acted as my ears and helped navigate the filling out of forms and passing on information. Being used to my deafness, he knew just how to get the information to me. Paul sat with the old geezer before the surgery and came back to collect me when it was time to go home.
When the blood flow from the operation filled the protective cup covering the ear, he changed the dressings multiple times, rang the doctor, fetched more dressings and kept me calm. He covered the bed so that the blood would not ruin the linen and set up water and pills and other needs to help me get comfy. Not wanting to leave me unattended, Paul made up the couch in the living room so that he could check on me through the first night and was quick with a wash cloth to clean me up when the blood leaked out and covered me face and neck. Made sure I took the pills to fight infection.
Paul prepared light food to eat, even though I could not taste it. More on that later.
Day after surgery, when his vehicle would not start, rang up a taxi to ensure that appointment was kept with doctor to do follow up, and got us back home.
Paul ,is no spring chicken, and has his own problems with a bum leg, so to put himself out for this old geezer was touching to say the least. I have not known Paul for ages, and being room-mates does not mean he signed on to play Florence Nightingale. He could not have been more of a comfort and it was all very touching.
This old geezer has had a much easier time of it due to Paul and his care. Who would have thought?
Just when you thought you knew who care about you the most, something wondrous comes along and makes you realize that you are much cared for in a quarter least expected. Along with Paul, there has been the dry wit of Alan, along with his prayers, The Big Kahuna with his wicked sense of humour,
This old geezer can be a bit much for some to take, and for Paul to take the time to 'sign' (or some form of), talk loudly and do all of the small acts of kindness, has not gone unnoticed. I do not know where to begin in my effort to thank.
Since I first wrote about Paul, there have been a few other entries on the blog about Paul. Some were not kind, due to his drinking. Sadly, I received word today that Paul lost his battle with the bottle.
Paul was the worst kind of alcoholic. He drank in bars to have people he hardly knew join him in having fun. Paul was very generous in bars. He drank heavy and made sure that all in the bar drank heavy as well. They did, on his dime. Barkeeps made a small fortune keeping the alcohol flowing.
Paul would buy the barkeep everytime he needed his glass filled, and pass over a generous tip.
I knew Paul for 4 years. During the four years, I got to hear all of Paul's stories. You know the kind of stories, where I lived, what I did for a living, who my folks were, how much money I spent and the people I loved.
Paul knew at early age that he was homosexual. Paul also knew that being homosexual in rural Nevada was not going to go over well. Paul learned very early on to hide his true sexual self. He did that all of his life and only came to realize how heavy a price he paid too late in life.
Like most closeted homosexuals, Paul was convinced that no one knew. When he tried to beat back the alcoholism later in life, he joined AA and starting to talk about some of the reasons he drank. He told one meeting that he was homosexual and was shocked when members told they already knew that. Seems Paul was not very butch when he drank...
Paul got lucky twice in life. Came into family fortunes twice. All of that money allowed Paul to visit the casinos in high style. Paul was a BIG SPENDER. Follows that the casinos were more than willing to pander to him to get his cash. They did twice.
I got the feeling from talking with Paul that he resented losing all of his money, never got over it. Mind, his alcoholism did not seem to be to blame.
Paul started to lose control of his drinking some time in 2013 and it got much worse in 2014. Multiple trips to hospital revealed that if he dd not stop, life would end. Paul would stop for a few weeks and then return to the bottle or more a day habit.
I had a ring side seat to just how bad alcoholics get. Not bathing, not eating. Complete lose of self esteem. The filth.
One Christmas I went to visit and try and cheer up Paul. Paul had been drinking all day and was in the crying stage of the bender. Paul told me that he envied me. ME. I asked why. Paul told me that he admired the fact that I had lived an open life. I had lived for me and not others. One of the great sadnesses of his life was hiding his true nature and never allowing love to happen.
Truth be told, I have made my share of mistakes. Things could have been different but as a whole, I am pretty happy with life. It was very sad to hear Paul tell of his unhappiness with life.
Paul drove most of his friends off. The drinking and his filthy living conditions did not encourage people to visit.
I stayed close to Paul for a long time. Actually was happy to have place thousands of miles between us, as I could not face seeing him doing terrible things to self. There were telephone calls. Telephone calls that Paul made drunk and went nowhere. Paul just made me sad.
Paul died on July 30, 2015, weeks shy of 73rd birthday.
I will alway remember Paul taking care of me when my ears went bad. Paul was very kind.
That is the Paul I will remember. I hope Paul has found the peace he was so desperate to have.
