Robert
I am a 32 year old Scottish, deaf, gay man. I came across your blog some time back and find myself returning often to see what the bizarre nutter from across the pond is up to. I find myself having a good laugh more oft than not and think of you as a nutter in the nicest of ways. Having been deaf from birth, am sure that losing hearing after a lifetime of sound must be very hard to deal with. I think you are dealing with it very well and hope that you continue to do so. I admire your courage and positive attitude. Feels a bit strange to be sending you a mushy fan letter but for some time have wanted to contact you and let you know that you have a friend in Glasgow. Is it alright that I consider you a mate of mine? Have you learned to sign? I am on skype and would be happy to chat with you, or teach you how to sign so that we could chat. You have a very open and readable face and think it would be rather easy to teach you and have very interesting conversations. Knowing that you like to get unusual bits in the post, have sent you this offering about Scottish Friendship, hope you get the meaning of without feeling put upon. Have sent you an invite to skype with, when you get ear sorted out and want to spend time chatting again. I feel a bit silly about writing but want to let you know I would like very much to get to know you better. Another reason I took to your blog is that we share the same name, Robert, a good name to have in Scotland.
1. When you are sad – I will help you get pissed and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue — I’ll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I know you’re thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared — I will take the piss out of you every chance I get until you’re NOT.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until you STOP WHINING!
6. When you are confused — I will try to use only little words.
7. When you are sick – Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will laugh at you, you clumsy arse,
but I might help you up.
9. This is my oath…. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask;
Because you are my friend.
Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
“Taking the piss” out of someone means teasing them.
Piss is important. When you hear the word a lot, you’re no longer in England; urine Scotland.
The old geezer is very touched by the email received from a reader. One can never have too many friends and this chap sounds as if he might be brilliant to know. Mind, the offer to learn how to sign is most generous and would come in handy down the road. Never thought of using skype to sign but can see how it would work.
What the email proves is that me blog has opened up a huge world to. There be some who think spending so much time on is a total waste and one never actually meets 'real' people. What a load of tosh that is.
