Perks of Being an Old Geezer
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. OAP's have no cash.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. Bit hard for clever clogs to provide loo time...
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 6 pm and ask, did I wake you?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. You really are falling apart...
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music. Barry Manalow is a God...
14. Your eyes won't get much worse. Just your hearing...
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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