I have spent a lifetime searching for things I felt I had 'lost'. There was an emptiness to my being and felt that if I found 'lost family' or discovered where I came from I would be made whole.
Truth be told, there was no real effort on my part, I knew bits and pieces but did not really have the hearty to dig further. Part of the lack of enthusiasm was my not really feeling any deep connection to the 'family' lost. I was a throwaway, of little value to my birth mother. I had moments of memories of siblings but not enough to wrap my brain round. Almost nothing was known of my father and had no knowledge of extended family. I set about building my own family.
I know more about my beginnings now than I ever did. Some of it is a bit of a shock and some parts leave me with a strong sense of sadness.
With a good deal of luck and pluck, I have managed to survive. Life has thrown much at me, some of it grand and some of it not so nice. I have got to my later years with many memories and a firm belief that it is never over until it is over. Have this strange belief that the best is yet to come,
In the end, you may well say that I never 'lost' anything. I have found me, The me that I did not appreciate.
No comments:
Post a Comment